PLEASE HELP ME
I’m a former “broken girl” and then I met a guy and he’s the sweetest most pure person I’ve ever known and we’ve been dating for 3 years now and I love him but he’s very “vanilla” sexually and I’m aching for some of my old life back. Someone from my past reached out to me and I’m really tempted to take him up on his offer to “hang out”. I would never want to hurt my boyfriend but I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t get to see the other guy. I’m craving him so badly. But I know cheating is absolutely horrible. I’m so conflicted please tell me what to do.
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Here’s the thing: I’m not rigidly anti-infidelity. If you both know you’re bound to the wrong person but have shared responsibilities that will keep you together indefinitely, well… what you do about that is up to you. I’ll judge you for being a deceptive dick, not for tasting third-party cock.
With that said, seriously: DON’T. You’ll regret it.
This isn’t a failed relationship that’s propped up by misguided parental intentions, or an underwater mortgage. You love this guy, and he loves you… both of you deserve better than this kind of nonsense. You’ll hate yourself, and while I know that sounds hot, the hot won’t outweigh the misery.
(To say nothing of the loathing your man will level at you when he finds out.)
Instead, I’m afraid it’s time to take a risk and be vulnerable with “the sweetest most pure person” you’ve ever known. If he’s truly what you say he is, he merits your trust.
Tell him you’ve always had these urges, but were so swept up in young love that they were buried for a few years. That they’re reemerging now, not because your love has waned, but because your love is strong and wants more of him and less of you. That you understand it might be a shock, and it might not be something he wants to share with you, but you know you owe him access to your whole heart, and this —as ugly, scary, or strange as it may seem— is a part of that whole.
He may not like this. He may become angry. He may demand explanations that will be hard for you to give. And —steel yourself— he may decide that he can’t be with someone who has such things inside her. That’s his right, and he should have the chance to make the decision for himself.
But again… he’s a pretty amazing guy. And if your love is as sincere as it sounds, he’ll listen to you.