Good Afternoon Mr. Bedtime. I have.. well a silly question. I guess something that I feel ashamed about.
Is it wrong of me to want whoever owns me to put restrictions on what I can eat, or if I am allowed to eat at all that day? And control/track my exercise? I like knowing I am on track to be better/prettier for them because they control me. Pointing out flaws/insecurities and pinching/grabbing the icky parts I need to work on. And also the thought of being weak/low energy so I can’t try to fight back when they hurt me if I wanted to🥰 It feels wrong to want this. The psychological torment from someone I deeply love, knowing I have no immediate escape from it. Constant reminders of seeing the girls that turn them on and noticing they are the complete opposite of me. I don’t know what is wrong with me that I think about this and even touch to it..
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Is it wrong? Not necessarily, but potentially. It’s all about you, really… how well do you know that bitch?
The sort of relationship she desires is going to look bizarre to outsiders, but all that matters is how it makes her feel. As specified, it’s going to hurt her a lot, but she’s the kind of girl who always finds a way to hurt a lot… in this scenario, she’s at least hurting in predictable ways, at rational intensities, for reasonable periods, under the emotional lash of someone who is invested in her well-being. The goal isn’t not-hurting… the goal is to feel contained, sustained, and accepted. To feel more good than bad, and more meaningful than pointless.
So does she know that “better” can be measured in miles or microns, and the scale she uses will define how she regards herself as both a woman and a possession?
Does she recognize that effort is progress? Yes, Ghost of John Wooden, I agree we must not mistake activity for achievement, but activity is evidence of passion, and a passion that brings joy to others is love. If the only thing she does is bring more love into the world, then progress has been made. The day has not been wasted, and her service has served a purpose.
Does she realize that above all else, she must honor the most basic principle: “Protect the Property”? That she must always love him more than she loathes herself? That his claim to her supersedes her disdain for her?
And she needs to ask herself some questions. Does she yearn for this because she’s wants to grow, or because she wants to wither? Does she seek discipline or destruction? Is she looking to be molded or eroded?
But back to you…
I should point out that “whoever owns me” can be seen two ways. For example, do you mean the bar for ownership is super-high because you want to give him the most profound sort of control over your life? Or do you mean that you’re dying to throw all of this at the first man who’ll pick up the baton? My estimation of “wrongness” would vary greatly based upon how such a comment is interpreted.