you are a disgusting piece of shit. i hope you get horribly disfigured to the point no woman lets you anywhere near them again.
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Dear Genius:
First, bold of you to assume my -figure isn’t already dissed. It’s not as if I’m good looking or something.
Second, four women just traveled thousands of miles and spent thousands of dollars for the opportunity to be near me. Over nine days, I lost count of how many times they wandered over —where I was sprawled on the couch, watching Vanderpump Rules and nursing a Fanta— and literally begged me to get up and hit them.
(The aggressive tickling was my idea. The ass-beatings were theirs. We collaborated on the snuggling.)
Third, I assure you, I could turn into John Merrick and they’d still be there to bring me my cane.
And finally, I offer you this, from the goober who obviously inspired your eloquent denounciation:
Personally, I don’t wish disfigurement upon you. That would be cruel.
Your soul is already pretty fucked-up as it is, champ.