RE: the intensity of his feelings

That’s a tricky one. On the one hand, it could be sincere… individual girls often awaken interests and urges within me, so it’s possible you’ve stirred things inside him that he doesn’t know how to process. He might not know how to be the sort of man that he will inevitably become for you.

On the other hand, it does feel a bit like a romanticized “it’s not you, it’s me” routine.

RE: love for me can only ever be broken

There’s a difference between what can be, and what you expect. If you don’t aspire to “sweet normal steady even love”, that’s okay. If something weirder and fucked-up feels right, that’s great. You need to find your joy in the life you’ve chosen, and if that means embracing happiness and belonging and arousal from being less, so be it.

But love is complicated and unpredictable, so don’t be too hasty to declare “only ever”. Life can surprise you.

RE: it was really out of nowhere

The first step in turning this tragedy in to a tutorial is interrogating that comment. It’s possible that it truly came “out of nowhere”, but that would mean your guy is a world-class manipulative bag of dicks who actively hid his intentions out of complete indifference to your humanity… or you missed some stuff.

RE: all I want is him

You want more than that.

You want to be accepted by someone who can accept himself.

Don’t settle for less.