…and now ladies and gentlemen, if you look to the left side of the bus, you will see the majestic girafficorn grazing in its natural environment. In 2021, very few girafficorns live free in the wild, most having fallen prey to poachers or been forced into captivity.
(Fun fact: girafficorns are the only species known to actually wander up to a trap and ask if it’s “okay if I just hang out here a while? Hope no one minds. Ow, that hurts. No… please… stop. I mean, okay, if you insist…”)
This particular specimen is well-known on this preserve, due to a couple unique characteristics. First, she has a magnificently formed head, with large, lovely eyes, and a small, doll-like mouth. Her mane is also quite fetching.
Second and more importantly, until 2017 or so, she was gender-ambiguous. But in a shocking turn of events that local researchers liken to “being bitten by a radioactive stripper”, she suddenly sprouted the rather impressive rack you see today. It was a big deal around here. Seriously. We had balloons and everything. Wilhelm’s wife Stefi baked a cake. It was nice. I mean, sure, I got a little drunk and tried to fuck the girafficorn, fine. Fine. My bad. But c’mon, seriously, look, she was asking for it…!