…but at the same time I also have this need to submit. is there anything wrong with it? because my Daddy doesn’t like me doing those things.. in the name of safety. not feeling thrilled makes me really sad and grumpy. does a Dom have the right to attempt to change the very core of the person he is dating? am I a bad sub for not being able to supress/ignore the urge to live life on the edge?
First, all of you dumbasses need to stop this “bad sub” shit. It’s a self-defeating attitude even in the best of situations, and a favored cudgel of every shitbag dom who can’t be bothered to convince you to see the world his way. Repeat after me: bad relationships and bad girls are different things.
Second, he has whatever rights you’ve ceded him. I don’t usually care to meddle with the fundamental nature of a girl I like, but the option to do so is certainly on the table in my relationships. If there’s something inside her that I feel doesn’t serve either of us, I’m willing to cut it out and replace it with a piece of me.
Is that the sort of relationship you’ve sought, and discussed? Or is this something he’s springing on you out-of-the-blue? Have you made it clear that thrill-seeking is fundamental to how you view life and day-to-day happiness? And if you have, did he give you a fleshed-out, thoughtful argument in favor of risking the disruption of your mental stability, or did he just say, “‘Cause I said so”?
Ask yourself all those questions, write down the answers, and look at them. Do the answers sketch a picture of a caring owner who has a firm idea of what’s best for you, a willingness to listen, and a respect for the enormous psychological leverage he has on you? Or is it the image of a controlling man who’s dismissive of your humanity and happiness, and whose self-absorption leaves him incapable of interrogating his own instincts and rethinking his first impressions?
Figure that out, and I’ll bet the path forward will become clearer.