I want to be more active in the bdsm scene, but I’m discouraged because now I feel like I don’t fit the aesthetic as a sub. Help.
Woman, are you out of your damned mind?
“From getting in shape” are the only words of import in this entire paragraph. If getting fit leaves a mark or sag, wear that shit like a badge of honor until (a) you can afford to get something done about it, or (b) you decide you feel too fucking good to care.
And seriously, I’ve been engaged in kinky public discourse for going-on thirty years, and I am completely unaware of a “submissive aesthetic”. There are tall ones and short ones and thin ones and fat ones and dark ones and pale ones and ones with common scars from uncommon wounds. They come in thousands of varieties, including some with zits and bad hair and penises.
Their only common aesthetic is 🥺.