There have been multiple times when I was either clueless or confused about what I wanted. One of them not that long ago.
As for what I did… when I was younger, I kind of thrashed around randomly and learned to adapt to situations. It was an educational but highly inefficient process.
More recently, I paid attention. Not just to what people said about themselves —which is important— but to what they said about me. I allowed myself to see me through their eyes… I learned that at some point, you can keep telling people that they’re stupid or blind or ridiculous for loving you, or you can accept that what they see is real and you’re wasting everyone’s time trying to be less than that.