Questions and Answers

I have such a crush on you

That’s probably the easiest stage for girls in my orbit.

I mean, it’s a rough ride for the I Hate All Of This But He Makes It Feel So Right crowd, who rub themselves for hours while thinking about me and then disappear under a mountain of blankets to hide from the judgement of the world. Until a day or two later, when they realize that their pathetic, desperate urges are still a secret that only I, inexplicably, seem to know… so they start again.

And the girls who love me? Poor babies. I don’t make it easy. So much patience and discipline and effort just to be what I need them to be… I admire the hell out of cunts like that. But I also happen to enjoy giving them a multitude of opportunities to earn my admiration… so, like I said… not easy.

But for girls with crushes? It’s a sweet gig. An occasional hit of attention that comes out of nowhere, the tiny thrill of having an ask answered, or a reblog of your butt that leaves you feeling a little extra-pretty the rest of the day. What more could you want?