Questions and Answers

is there a personal guide to how you’d go about eating someone out?

  1. A momentary, tentative lick… because my first time was very, very bad, and something in my lizard brain can’t help but ask “what if she tastes like the inside of a tauntaun?” despite never again having such an experience.
  2. I apply a variety of steadily more insistent rhythms on and about her clit.
  3. I bite her inner thigh and threaten to drown her in the toilet if she doesn’t stop boring me soon.
  4. Spit on her and walk away just as she’s ready to go.
  5. Come back five minutes later with a piece of cake —which I do not share— and ask why she’s crying.
  6. Go ahead and give her my crumbs, because I’m kind.