…and it starts bothering me more and more lately. He usually listens to my personal stories and supports me, but he doesn’t see how women’s problems are different from men’s. I try discussing it with him, but he is verbally much stronger and experienced than I am. I feel like I drift away from him because of it, but I don’t seem to be able to coomunicate it to him. And I still love him
(submitted by: @Anonymous)
Here’s the thing: I get that you love him. There are undoubtedly many lovable things about him. A man’s inability to see the world from any perspective other than his own isn’t necessarily a deal breaker… until it is.
‘Cause now that you’ve seen this limitation in his thinking, you can’t unsee it. You’re going to find yourself quietly questioning his judgment; even when you like the answer he reaches, you’re going to want him to show his work. And in some relationships that may be okay, particularly when two people are dedicated to equity and a collaborative exchange of ideas.
But based on what you’ve said and to whom you’ve said it, my guess is… that ain’t you.
So talk to him. Tell him that you love him, but you don’t always feel heard and understood. Tell him you respect him, but he’s got a blind spot that needs to be checked. Tell him you appreciate his strength, but you want to experience it as an embrace rather than a shove.
It’s okay to expect your man to acknowledge the world is bigger than he is.