Questions and Answers

Hey! I’m a pretty newbie as a sub and I have met someone. How…

(submitted by: @Anonymous)

Hey! I’m a pretty newbie as a sub and I have met someone. How can I be sure, that he really is a dom and not a poser? I don’t want to be rude by asking too many questions or about his experiences. What would a poser do? What would a dom do?

Dominant people love talking about themselves. We love the sound of our own voices. We are our own favorite storytellers. We’re total tools like that.

Don’t hesitate to ask us to tell you our tales. It’s not rude, and you need to find out the things we love to share, and the things we always somehow manage to hide. If he thinks it’s rude, then he’s not just hiding a thing or two… he’s all-hide, all-the-time.

That doesn’t mean you’re entitled to answers, though. There are things that he might not be ready to share, and perhaps never will be. But he can tell you that. He can say those words. They’re not hard. He can tell you no, and why. He can show you the shape of who he is, even if he’s not yet prepared to reveal the fine details.