Questions and Answers

Hiya BSFG Your name shortened down reminds me of The BFG by Roald Dahl.…

Maybe you are secretly a big friendly giant, but I digress I have come to you seeking advice – I’ve had a few long term D/S dynamics my first two were born from tumblr before it’s censorship of all that is fun. I’ve had some more vanilla/swinging relationships in the more recent past and have supplemented my need to be dominated with the odd kink party and my own imagination. I come with a lot of baggage and I’ve done the work to improve myself and grow as a human being but I keep finding myself left behind, or flirted with and discarded. Am I doing something wrong? I’m fit, I look after myself but I’m not vain, I do all the things a good girl should do and yet I’m alone. The only Doms I can find to play with me long term are the ones online.

Please, help?

The OG Bunny xoxo

If I’m gonna be a Roald Dahl character, I’m gonna opt for something else.

As for you… it’s impossible to know what’s happening based on so little information, but I have some guesses.

  • You’re looking for long-term stuff from short-term men… the kind of guy who scratches your particular itch may not be the kind to stick around.
  • Everyone thinks they want lifestyle kink until the realities and ramifications arise… once it’s time for plans to be made and worlds to collide, most people get scared. There are definitely guys who want more than the thought of owning you, but they’re not as common as you might hope.
  • All the baggage that you’ve worked so hard to manage with grace over the course of a lifetime can often look like a daunting, unwieldy mess to a newcomer.
  • To this day, there are bratty girls —bless their hearts— who hope to have a shot with me. If they’ve paid any attention to me at all, they know that’s not going to happen… and yet, they hope. So in my experience, it’s common for girls to seek the company of unattainable men… do you ever find yourself doing that? Were all these men actually “gettable” from the start? Or were they a case of you trying to make “fetch” happen?
  • It seems like you have some pretty strong feelings about the making of a good girl. Which is a positive thing, in general. (As long as your feelings are open to manipulation by a higher power.) But I’ve known girls who have higher standards for themselves than I have for them, and it can get complicated… if his “good girl” is your idea of a disappointing piece of shit, the resulting dissonance will be tricky to handle. And some guys just aren’t up to it.

Like I said… just guesses. Avenues of investigation. For what they’re worth.