Any advice on how to get my boyfriend in touch with his dominant side without overtly asking for it? I have expressed my desire for his leadership, and he has the tendency to be instructive and assertive, but not authoritative. When I do something he doesn’t like, he will either too gently ask me not to or will internalize his frustration and voice it out in small, passive aggressive ways over an extended period of time. We love each other, and I respect him, but how do I say need motivation to?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Stop being so damned self-centered, young lady, and ask for what you need. You’re looking to manufacture a situation where he “organically” discovers his inner dom, but (a) that won’t work, and (b) it’s manipulative, which is a really shitty way to pursue your own submission.
You’re also assuming all that’s missing here is a little of your well-intentioned motivation… that he just needs to be steered away from “placid and pedestrian” toward “commanding and implacable”. But he may not have it in him. More importantly, he may not want to have it. He may like who he is.
You won’t know until you ask.