do you enjoy fleshlights?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Do you mean a cooch-in-a-travel-mug or a useless fuckhole?
‘Cause I’ve only owned one of those:
★★★★☆ Worth it, but flawed design, questionable packaging
I picked one of these up on a lark, mostly because I was bored. Noticed immediately that the case was dented, dimpled, and blotchy… a big disappointment, but not a surprising one given how cheap it is. Tried tearing off the wrapper and immediately sticking my dick in it, but OUCH! Who knew these things need prep before you wreck them? Maybe it has some self-lubricating function, but why waste time looking at a manual when you can just spray WD-40 on it? (Kidding. I was out of WD-40, so we used Crisco.) Anyway, that did the trick, although my dick ended up smelling of sweat and partially hydrogenated vegetable oil. Is it supposed to do anything when you’re fucking it? Mine didn’t do anything. It should have at least made some noise. I know it takes like 18 years to make these things, and I’m not trying to shit on anyone’s work, but some of the choices just seem short-sighted. It’s really inconvenient and annoying to use at first, so you have to spend some hard time with it to have any appreciation for it at all. But I’m used to it now, and… I guess I’ll keep it. Until they make a newer, prettier model!