there are women in your life that you’re just friends with that you respect and admire and don’t have sex with, right? obvi you respect and admire the women you sleep with, but not sexy feelings for women aren’t always encapsulated in a sexual bubble for you, are they?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
If I’m correctly picking the tomatoes out of this word salad, you’re asking if women who are not attractive to me are still relevant to me.
To be clear, there are lots of women I admire and respect, and most of them are not what I’d call fuckable.
So the answer is yes, with a caveat: this was not always so. It’s something that happened with age. When I was younger, unattractive girls were obstructions. If one of the obstructions was tenacious enough to convince me it was a person, I would simply redefine her as attractive. I only see this in retrospect, of course, but it’s kinda obvious now.
Anyway… somewhere around 40, I dunno… it became impossible not to see how complicated things are for the not-pretty girl. And that I was missing out on the stories of interesting people simply because they can’t get me hard.
Also, I’ll be honest with you, and I say this with great embarrassment… it became easier to enjoy unattractive women right around the time I once again allowed a large number of people to become attracted to me. As my ego expanded, it softened at the edges and became more absorbent. It made room for things it didn’t acknowledge before. It was a Grinchy, heart-grew-two-sizes-that-day kinda thing, only with my meager feminist consciousness as the world’s shittiest, tiniest holiday gift. (At least coal would burn.)
Or maybe it was just a matter of living long enough to realize that kindness and talent are as rare as beauty, and should be embraced wherever they are found.