In your opinion/experience, should sex be avoided to practice or focus on aftercare?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Avoid it? Sex can be aftercare.
Seriously, y’all have got some really weird, theatrical ideas of what constitutes “aftercare”. Many of you seem to think it’s this pampering, cooing, coddling process that is somehow the complete opposite of kinky fuckery.
Probably because half the people talking about it don’t sound particularly kinky… a lot of the time, it feels like it’s coming from touch-starved vanilla-adjacent girls who are so resigned to impersonal, machine-gun fucking by their disinterested boyfriends that they’ve embraced the notion of “aftercare” as a way to demand attention be paid to the simple human need for intimacy.
In reality, aftercare in kink is a normalization of relations between two people who’ve just done something strange and complicated. That’s it. That’s all. What “normal” looks like is up to them and their dynamic. Maybe it’s backrubs and spooning. Maybe it’s Netflix and chill. Maybe it’s “You did well, baby, and I’m proud of you. Now go wash your face and make Daddy a drink.”
Whatever it takes to bring both of them back to solid ground.