that girl you posted a picture of doesnt look anything like the girls you reblog…
Eek! Egad! Heavens to Murgatroyd! Alas, I have been found out!
Indeed, Dolly looks nothing like the girls I reblog. You see, their value is in looking pretty. Her value was in taking loving, virtually flawless care of me and mine, to such an extent that she permanently expanded my expectations. Every hot bitch on Instagram should aspire to be half the girl that ridiculous little penguin managed to be.
Also, don’t fuck with the people I care about. I will be forced to relentlessly compliment them in public, which is uncomfortable for all of us.