I have been chatting with a Dom for a while now. A long while. It has been exclusively online, but that will be changing soon. He gives me nightly instructions. I used to lie and tell him I had followed them when I hadn’t. I think because I feared if I couldn’t right away, I wasn’t a good submissive. After we built trust and connection and a real relationship I started following my instructions more and more often and now I’m honest if I screw up or make a bad choice and I love being honestly submissive to him. But I still feel guilty for lying in the beginning. Do I need to tell him and risk everything in order to truly be submissive to him now that I’m doing what is asked of me? I want to be the best I can be before I kneel for him in person.
(submitted by: Anonymous)
These two sentence fragments need to get together and compare notes:
- “…we built trust and connection and a real relationship…”
- “Do I need to tell him and risk everything…?”
Being honest about a failing you have long-since corrected, that marks the deepening of your submission, that demonstrates your burgeoning love and dedication… is somehow supposed to risk everything? Say what now?
He’s got every right —presumably, I don’t know your relationship— to be mad about your petty and ancient deceptions. Perhaps he’ll give you hell for it. He’ll undoubtedly send you on an around-the-world guilt trip.
But if it’s a real relationship with someone worthy, it isn’t a risk. It’s respect.