i broke up with my boyfriend a while back. he doesn’t seem to have agreed with it though, he tells me to come over to cook him dinner all the time. and i do it! a lot! i feel pathetic… but also like i can’t let the guy starve you know? and then sometimes we end up having sex too. that makes me feel especially pathetic. i dunno how to move on. or maybe i shouldn’t? i dunno
You don’t want to move on. That’s the plan, but you don’t want to pull the trigger. You’d rather linger in the space between everything and nothing than take the steps you need to take..
- He didn’t need to agree with it, ‘cause he knows that you don’t mean what you say. Your words are just words, and your actions speak far louder.
- He’s an adult; adults can feed themselves. He won’t starve in your absence… he’ll just make a fucking sandwich. You’re the only one who sees you as a vital cog is his sustenance machine, and that’s only because you need to rationalize something that makes no sense.
- “Sometimes we end up having sex too.” As if you’re over there whipping up din-din, slip on the kitchen tile, and fall on his cock. 😏 I know it’s hot to feel pathetic, but I’m not sure it’s actually pathetic to get exactly what you want from someone you’ve chosen.
I have no idea if you really should leave him… you’ve said nothing to indicate what might be wrong with him or the relationship. He could be a giant dickbag, or just some guy who wasn’t quite right.
But you’ve at least thought of leaving him… so you need to figure out why that seemed like a solution, and why the solution doesn’t satisfy you. Neither he nor I have the answers… they’re entirely inside you.
Start digging. You might find gold.