Not even vaguely. Sadly, we can’t all be that handsome.
Having said that, I’m not sure who I look like. You’d have to ask The Idiots.
I would give my right nipple to be able to see what you look like 😶
A nipple might be excessive, and would mess up your rack.
Let’s talk baby toes instead.
i’d volunteer a pinky finger, i think. other digits negotiable.
Multiple thoughts:
Now I can’t stop wondering if I should dangle my growing collection of digits from a necklace, or store them in a trophy case.
I hope Idiot the Elder and Idiot the Younger —assuming she even logs into Tumblr this week, the little Twitter traitor— read this and gratefully appreciate all the parts of them I’ve yet to demand. (“I’m just so glad he didn’t remove anything!” is the kind of body positivity they need.) There are advantages, being the pathetic girls camped out at the front of the line… it’s cheaper to ride the ride when you show up early.
I’m traveling a lot now, so I should start keeping track of where my more enthusiastic little nutjobs mutuals are living these days… for sweet enough girls, I might be willing to be beheld for as little as the price of a steak and your rapt attention. Let’s not totally rule out the fingers & toes, though… after all, it could turn out to be a surprisingly good dinner.
