Ugh… Kik. I spend most of my time on an iPad, and Kik still hasn’t bothered to make their app universal. It kinda works in landscape, but it’s ultimately just a shitty, upsized iPhone app. I’m willing to keep it installed because people like @dumbbigtittedslut pester me on occasion, but the chances of a random stranger getting me to engage there are slim. Maybe if I were a member of a bunch of groups or something I’d feel differently, but as an individual user, Kik is ass. (If you’re feeling lucky, I’m bs4bg over there.)
I’ve got a Discord server set up, but to get in there, you need to either be a patron of my Patreon, or someone very interesting or useful. Are you very interesting or useful?
And of course, there’s the one thing that so many of you idiots dread: email. Based on testing, it’s the most effective route— both of my favorite guinea pigs started out that way, months before they earned iMessage privileges. (Only very good lab-rats get to make my watch go “ding”.) But please note: you’ll have to learn to inline quote like God intended… none of that lazy-ass, bottom-quoting bullshit that your parents didn’t bother to beat out of you. (You’ll have to ask for the address. Ask nicely. And it wouldn’t hurt to include a resume.)