Since emerging from my latest depression-chrysalis earlier this year, I’ve been trying to be a little more open with people. Girl-people, anyway. And since this is inevitably going to lead to a person or two getting a look at me and my life, I decided to give my online identity a once-over for the first time in years. And I discovered a number of things:
- Back in the early/mid-2000s, I was in the top twenty Google results for a search of my first name. Now I’m barely in the top ten for my full name.
- The Google image search results for me are, frankly, terrifying. There’s exactly one photo of me (my Myspace profile headshot) and a scribbled self-portrait… and then a shit-ton of police booking photos for a guy with a similar name. Dude looks like he stepped right out of a bait house on To Catch A Predator; “creepy motherfucker” doesn’t even begin to describe him.
- Speaking of Myspace, I visited that for the first time since 2009. At least a third of my photos are gone, and all my videos and text posts were wiped… unsurprisingly, they managed to keep the photos of my friends and associates in bikinis. (NOTE: don’t visit myspace.com without a content blocker running in your browser, ‘cause you’re going straight to popup/redirect hell if you do.)
- Some of the photos I shot in 2006 are still seeing a steady drip of activity on photo sharing sites in 2018, so I can confirm: hot pieces of ass will live forever on the internet. I’ve actually seen one or two of them show up on Tumblr babe-blogs, thought about sending in a DMCA takedown request, and then promptly forgot about it.
- The only video I have left on YouTube has a grand total of 41,000 views in 12 years; it probably wouldn’t even have that many if I hadn’t posted it when YT was still a baby. (Today, it would be lost in the swamp.) I still think it’s pretty decent, for a no-budget thing shot in SD by one guy and a production assistant who was too busy flirting with the drummer to actually do any assisting.
- I can find no trace of my ‘98-’07 kink writing in the index. Which is by design and for the best, but I’m wistful about it. I’ve got backups, at least. I think. Somewhere.