My mum, after not seeing me for a little while:
‘omg why have your boobs shrunk!’
😐
“Are you feeling okay, sweetie? It’s just that, normally, I can read your IUD’s serial number through your leggings, but lately you’re wearing pants designed for women who respect themselves. So is something wrong?
“I completely understand if there is. I mean, your dad told me what happened to you at work. Your boss shouldn’t have touched you that way. Not in the office; that’s inappropriate. It’s just too bad. Because if you’d stopped thinking about work for five minutes, you could have asked him out, and before long, you would have been married and I’d have had grandbabies. I’ve always told you, you have to put men in a position to succeed; if you let them fail, they will.
“Do you— do you think you two could work it out? I mean, I know there’s the whole right-and-wrong thing, but just hypothetically speaking…? No, you’ve never even been out to dinner —and whose fault is that?— but, well, he obviously likes you. You don’t grope someone you don’t like; that’s just common sense. That’s more than most people know on a first date.
“Whatever you do, I don’t think you should report it. I don’t care what your father says; he doesn’t understand what it’s like for girls. The other men will find out and be afraid to even lay a finger on you; then the women will find out, and SNAP! —just like that!— all those girls who have been your best work buddies will realize you’re really just the competition.
“And honestly, darling? You’ll never be able to compete if those boobs keep shrinking.”