Questions and Answers

Please start a cult.

The thought is appealing, but I’m not sure I have it in me.

I mean, the whole “binding women into a sworn sisterhood of submission to my benevolent, periodically unsettling whims” thing sounds like something I could manage, and I do enjoy mentoring the wholeness-deprived as they navigate the hedge mazes they call inner lives. But there’s so much more to the demigod gig, and a lot of it is outside my wheelhouse.

For example, I feel like a proper cult prioritizes things like isolating people from their families, and I’m just not cut out for that. I can’t imagine telling some naked, kneeling, 20 year-old degenerate disappointment that she can’t visit her mom on her birthday; sure, I’d feed her my load on her way out the door –so she kisses her mom “hello” with a little of me on her breath– but other than that, I wouldn’t want to contribute to the downfall of the modern family unit.

I’m too much of a soft touch.