Essays and Bad Ideas

My Fetishes?

I’ve always been attracted to the sound women make when they’re feeling particularly small and ineffectual, but I didn’t have a name for it. MTV came to my rescue ten years ago, during a scene on Laguna Beach where two of the hotter, meaner girls were shopping, and one of them was making a kind of whimpering, whiny, squeak as she struggled to grasp an item on a high shelf.

“You’re making the Reaching Noise,” the other one noted.

I am all about the Reaching Noise.