I think it’s cute that so many of you are surprised and/or disappointed when I’m polite, pay you a compliment, or otherwise treat you like you’re a human being. It’s as if you’re nervously expecting to be attacked by a rampaging sex-ogre, but instead end up getting a pat on the head from Shrek. Your perplexity is adorable.

Silly, silly geese… you should know by now that I’m the sort of monster who doesn’t cross your threshold without an invitation.