Judging women by my subjective standards of beauty for no reason other than the inherent satisfaction of classifying them like cuts of fuckable meat?
How can I say no?
All-Time “I Don’t Get The Appeal” Hall of Fame: Julia Roberts. Didn’t understand the fascination twenty years ago, and still don’t. I’m still mystified by her Oscar, too; her career highlight was dying in Steel Magnolias.
Special Jury Prize For Following Too Closely In Her Aunt’s Footsteps: Emma Roberts. I prefer her work to Julia’s, but I don’t find her hot at all. Plus, Eric’s sweaty, leering performance in the Mr. Brightside video is still the best the Roberts clan has to offer.
I Only Want To Look At Her When She’s Being Pissed On, Lifetime Achievement: Kim Kardashian. ‘Nuff said.
BONUS:
Special Achievement In Becoming Instantly Asexual After Pregnancy: Jessica Alba. Before Cash Warren (fuck that guy) defiled her with his seed, okay, she was hot… but that’s as dead as her movie career now.