…but I always wonder, do you like vanilla stuff too?? Like I like getting slapped around as much as the next person, but sometimes I just want something a lil vanilla. I’m honestly pretty embarrassed to ask, but I was just curious if others felt the same or if kink is the only thing you like.
First, why are you embarrassed? “I like normal stuff sometimes” isn’t particularly scandalous, from my point of view.
Second, others definitely feel the same. I generally assume that the majority of kinky people feel that way… they’re just not the talkative, exhibitionist types who are out here making a spectacle of themselves.
As for me? Twenty years ago, I actually had a debate with a bunch of older kinky people, wherein I insisted that even after living 24/7 for five years, I was still capable of enjoying vanilla sex, and insisted that everyone should want both. (I compared it to still being able to appreciate a Quarter Pounder even though I’ve enjoyed filet mignon.)
Needless to say, tastes change, and I haven’t had so much as a McNugget in at least ten years.
Eventually, I realized the dynamic is always there, even if I’m not consciously aware of it… for me, vanilla sex simply isn’t possible. It doesn’t exist. “Vanilla” is a blind eye turned to the presence and flow of power within a sexualized circumstance, and I can’t unsee what I’ve seen.