Conversations | Bedtime Stories for Broken Girls

Are there any pet names or dirty nicknames you enjoy being called

From some people certainly

I’m reluctant to share them bc some people don’t know how to act and I don’t want strangers calling me those things

Oh, quit allowing others’ awfulness to constrain you! Speak the words, loud and proud!

Her favorite pet name is Countess Hufflefluff PootPetal.

…

Don’t even ask, babe. Just don’t. Yes, the title is complete bullshit. I heard she blew a clerk at the registrar’s office. Then ghosted him. She’s such a whore, I swear— wait, is this thing on?! Is this—? I don’t know about anyone else, but I think sublunary is the best kind of orchid. Prove me wrong!

sublunaryorchid:

hey? Don’t message me trying to flirt if you literally have “won’t buy content.” or similar in your bio. Pay for your porn. Also fuck you 🫶🏻

I love the implication, that some poor, worn-down fucker is just deluged with requests for money every time he talks to someone around here.

All told, I’ve been nine years in this part of Tumblr, with half the girls I know running OnlyFans accounts or camming or escorting, and you know how many times a girl has hit me up to buy something?

Zero. Not one fucking time.

So what are you doing wrong, dudes?

flashy-title:

The most unrealistic part of Spider-Man: No Way Home isn’t the multiverse; it’s that Spider-Man sews his own suits on a basic sewing machine. Four way stretch spandex without a serger?! 🤨

I don’t understand this, and I somehow find it pleasing not to know.

It’s like an adult Peanuts character talking, only interspersed with interesting English keywords.

“Wah wah wah-wah wah Spider-Man: No Way Home wah-wah-wah multiverse wah wah wah Spider-Man wah-wah-wha wha-wah Four way wah wah stretch spandex wah wah wah-wah.”

Just delightful.

I’d rather you be scared of what I will do to keep you, than be scared of me tossing you aside.

See? Even when I’m terrorizing you, I’m looking out for you.

sunflowerythings-blog:

i think if someone played with my nipples i would pass out

I think if I put a bag over your head and watched your flail around like a disillusioned salmon on the deck of a wave-tossed ship, you would pass out.

Among other things.

sunflowerythings-blog:

anyway i need to get fucked soon or ill lose my mind

Why let “or” fill your life with unnecessary choices when “and” can set you free?

sublunaryorchid:

i don’t know what this means LOL and I suspect it’s nothing all that great but I feel a lil proud of myself for this :,) insert Patrick from perks shouting 🗣 I AM BELOW AVERAGE 🎉

idk how this is calculated but obviously I am extremely cute and hot and you should subscribe 😌

I didn’t rly think this would amount to anything but I’m having a blast honestly and I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin

my 2 month mark is this Sunday (27th) also 🥰🌈💚 come see me there!!

She’s also in the top 19% of dummies, so she’s already having quite a 2022!

littleshakespeareanbby:

I just want a mean man to grab me by my face and force me to lower myself to my knees and ask me if I’m going to be a good girl for him

He already knows, long before your knees hit the floor.

ithinkiforgotmyname:

ithinkiforgotmyname:

carefully edited for your viewing pleasure

omg guysssss i meant edited the shadows around my thighs so the picture didn’t get removedddd, if one more person asks what i actually look like i’ll lose my entire mind.

She’s correct: that’s just how she looks. She’s going for “grown-up fuckhole” here, as opposed to her more familiar “sad horny princess” or “goth whore in expensive shoes”, but it’s still her.

So be nice.

Or don’t. I’m guessing she’s got it coming.