just looking for someone who will listen to bob dylan’s “like a rolling stone” 16x in a row with me, listen to me talk about the young pope & at least pretend to agree that it is the pinnacle of fine television, and be super into either punching me in the face or letting me punch them in the face.
I can handle the Dylanathon, and I’m super into chatty punching bags.
Potential sticking point: I’ve only seen the pilot of The Young Pope, so I don’t yet have an opinion. Unless “pretend to agree” encompasses “patronize and nod while smiling benevolently”, in which case, I’m good.
Me at the beginning of 2018: Taking on two masochistic little cunts who’d been following me around for years, deciding to pick them apart and see how they work.
Me at the end of 2018: Family game nights and reading bedtime stories over FaceTime and watching stuffed animals wave at me.
Things took a weird turn, somewhere along the way.
I want someone to make me take a picture of myself in the exact same position, put them side by side, and point out every way she looks better than me. I’d almost definitely start crying before anything was even said 😔
So what you’re saying here is that you have a kink for very long lists.
*ahem*
Guys, I genuinely tried to cater to my sadistic audience and recreate this picture like you all keep asking me, and all I can say is that this girl, quite frankly, must have FREAKISHLY LONG arms because I spent *forever* tryna get all those body parts in one frame and let me tell you it is bloody impossible 🤨
After your failure to develop normal, adult-sized limbs made it necessary, I conducted a detailed photographic analysis that involved carelessly pasting vaguely similar photos of you over her and seeing how they lined up. Allow me to sum up the situation for you:
Unpopular opinion: this site is free and owes us nothing. If they decide to ban any word, genre or topic, that’s their decision and we are free to stay or leave as we choose. You may not like it but it’s not oppression.
I’ll agree with “it’s not oppression”… there were many alternatives to Tumblr that popped up around the time that Karp and Arment were launching this thing, and we could have chosen any of them. (I remember creating both a Tumblr and a Posterous account back in 2008. I thought Posterous would win. 🙄) If you have options and choose the wrong ones, that’s not oppression. That’s just life.
But I’ll disagree with “owes us nothing”. In fact, they owe us lots. Protection of our personal data, a reliable means of exporting or removing our original content, protection from the shitty people their tools inevitably empower, and a general willingness to live up to their own sales pitch.
Tumblr’s parent company has been a laughingstock on the first point, exporting seems broken on really large blogs, the less said about protection the better, and, I mean, c’mon… Adult Tumblr didn’t just pick this site out of a hat. For a long time, their ToS openly encouraged us to build communities around explicit sexual material. I know their tits were in a wringer, between Apple and the law, but if you ask people to make a home with you, you don’t get to cavalierly switch things up with a few weeks warning and expect nothing more than a sigh of capitalist resignation.
I love Tumblr. Also, fuck Tumblr.
Me: Stupid sandman, shooting his stuff all over girls’ eyes in their sleep!
Her: …don’t sexualize the sandman! That’s like sexualizing the toothfairy or leprechauns or the Easter bunny!!
Me: Now I’m thinking about a gang-bang where a leprechaun tries to jam a pot of gold up your hoo-hah as the Easter bunny rabbit-fucks your face, knocking out a tooth that the tooth fairy pops in his mouth so he can lick it while he masturbates.
Her: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Me: Who, me?
Her: No. I’m mad at you right now! The most disturbing part of that is the toothfairy licking my tooth!! She’s a FAIRY!!!! She’s more poised than that. She has class, for fuck’s sake.
Me: Do you have a better idea for what the tooth fairy is doing with those teeth?
Her: Of course I have a better idea than that!! Stop ruining cute things!
