Way too hot to simmer down, might as well overheat ~
Perfection
Perfection? Hah. Hah hah. Ho ho. Greedy made a funny!
Okay, sure, when I first saw these pictures, I thought, “Hey, looking quite fuckable, cunt.” Even got vaguely hard for a minute. Because I’m supportive.
She quickly pointed out that it’s all angles and lighting, though. And while I argued at first, upon reflection, I’ve got to admit… she’s right. She’s cropped out everything questionable, sucked in everything possible, and posed away everything disappointing. (That’s a lot of everything. Pretty much all of the thing.) Turns out, beneath the ostensibly pretty stuff, it’s the same old breadbox full of carbs, smoke, and mirrors.
But I guess it’s nice to see the little dork try, right? And at least we don’t have to look at her weird feet.
In a way, you’re my life’s work, a puzzle I was built to ponder. I’ve spent years listening to you and analyzing your conflicted, constricted, and convoluted thoughts; you’re all such sad little knots, awaiting an Alexander to untangle you with the edge of a blade. I learn something new every time one of you comes apart for me.
But I’ll never truly, viscerally understand how you manage it, how you turn the sundering of your mystery and the exposition of your shame into abject, sobbing need. I suspect the answers will forever elude me.
Fortunately, a wet hole is its own special solace.
*Secretly wondering what it would be like to kneel and lick your shoes greedily* 😍
I’ve really missed you, ya little freak.
I’ve never been one to use my feet in a kink context. But since you were last here, I’ve kicked a Tumblr girl in the cunt, cut her off mid-sentence by smushing her stupid face with my foot, and, y’know… stepped on her throat a little. Haven’t made anyone lick my shoes, though.
With that said, I do have a new pair of Timberlands. And while the box didn’t say so explicitly, I think they’re slut-proof.
So hope springs eternal. 😁
Her: Mr Bbbbbb! Gym is *killing* me! It’s almost being as mean as you ☹️
Me: What did Gym say to you, pumpkin? Did he touch you? Here, use this scale model to show me where he touched you!
Her: omg…. wow…. that hit me in spots way more painful than Gym does 😭
Her: So the guy at the shop said that, like, there’s a line on your tires, y’know? There are these indentations, see, and as you drive on the, like, the concrete or whatever, the indentations wear down to that line, and then your tire is no longer, I don’t know, legal or good or whatever. D’you know what I mean?
Me: …
Her: Hello?
Me: …
Her: Are you there…?
Me: …
Me: [sigh]
Me: So you’re trying to say your tires are bald.
Her: Yeah! That’s what he called it!
Me: You’re a college graduate, and the American educational system is a sham.
Okay, that’s legitimately cute. I like where this stupidity is going. 😏
