oh.. hm. MY fav? i haven’t really thought abt that
i like making Him laugh 🙇♀️ i like making His day a lil better when i can. i like when i can help to improve His happiness, state of mind, general well-being.
we want Him happy and healthy and if that’s accomplished then i’m pleased as punch
She knows exactly which stupid, infantile Snapchat filter will crack me up every time. It’s like Iverson’s crossover… her go-to move.
She’s actually grown into quite the little servant. When she was nineteen and first started sniffing around me like an oversized puppy —Odette?— she was a mess. A sweet mess, but still… yeesh. Today, as a Fully Grown Woman, she is remarkably self-aware and eager to ease my burdens. It’s quite impressive, even with the paci in her mouth, bear ears on her head, and a baby bottle in her hand.
seeing a pattern and rubbing my two brain cells together, i cannot help but notice that the rules of ‘snitches get stitches’ only apply to me – in stark contrast to when anyone snitches on me and they get rewarded 🥺🤨
Just be glad that I’m so understanding of your perverse inclinations, and forgive you for loving sandwiches more than me.
Beat me until the air leaves my lungs, and I can do nothing more than gasp out your name like a broken prayer. And in return, I will kiss your hand and thank you for each & every lashing
every time I reallllllly need to go to the bathroom and I’m just… able to, freely, without waiting or holding? Every time, I think “gee I’m so glad I’m not Puddles” 🤭
I’m sure you’ll find any number of circumstances in life where things are considerably easier due to you being not-Puddles.
You can drink all you want —of anything you want— before bed without consequence.
You’ll never run out of towels while mopping your own urine from the floor and find yourself wondering if sweaters absorb pee.
You’re seldom going to face a choice between wetting your bed and chugging down a Stanleyfull of unfortunately concentrated girlpiss.
Your bladder is a prosaic internal organ, and not a source of entertainment for everyone around you.
When you squirm, it’s because you’re a disgusting, horny animal overcome by the ravenous desires of her relentless vagina… when she squirms, it’s because she’s not worthy of using a toilet.
