Yup. You can try petting it if you’re dumbbrave enough to get within arm’s reach.
me:
HA! 😏
Really, though? I’d make a shitty shark; I’m not that cold-blooded or single-minded. I’m probably closer to, I dunno… a cranky, bullying Great Dane? Maybe a moody, sexually aggressive gorilla? Something along those lines.
@domestic–doll Sorry, I meant how old do you like men to be, following on from an earlier reply you gave (young or old). But thank you for answering.
Oh! Ideally between 30 and 45 I’d say?
Oh, that’s just great. You couldn’t break this to me gently? I’ve been out of your Goldilocks Zone this whole time, and you never mentioned it? What about my dream of hunting and mounting the wild girafficorn? Do my ambitions mean nothing to you?
You are a cruel, cruel little girl. Or large ruminant. Whatever.
I’m soooo happy to have this in my hands. Expect to see more of it
I support this. I am very much in favor.
The only cosplay that will ever interest me: girls dressed like Babydoll, girls dressed like Harley Quinn, and anyone who wants to throw on some bikini bottoms with a cropped T and pretend to be Vanessa Hudgens in Spring Breakers.
so you’re /honestly/ telling me that if i do white-dress-dream-space sydney barrett for halloween you’re not interested?
I’d be interested… as you damned well know, Ms. Produce Contusion. Even as I hit “Post”, I knew someone would make me regret coming up with a definitive list. 🙄
Of course, if you actually follow through, that just means I’m getting something fun to look at. So maybe I don’t regret it so much as feel slightly smug at having provoked you into playing into my hands.
It’s amazing how things so often seem to work out in my favor.
Yes, exactly. You’re dreaming. This —an obnoxious internet man looking at a photo of you and thinking about manipulating and wrecking you— is apparently what passes for dream material in that head of yours. Your brain could conjure up anything to keep you distracted while it indexes your daily mediocrity, and it chose this. This is what it’s come to.
Well, no. I mean, I still swoon at the idea of getting forehead kisses or calling me cute nicknames or someone taking me by the waist to direct me to where I need to go or just randomly telling me they miss me but I don’t get that stuff and haven’t in over 3 years now.
I like what I get. It’s not disturbing and honestly, it’s not “really violent” either. It’s just kinky shit. I’m just more intune with kink right now than romance because romance is dead 🙃
Two questions and a thought:
Is something like “annoying little shit” a cute nickname? If so, I’m good at cute nicknames.
Near as anyone can tell, your waist is something like two-and-a-half feet off the floor. What kind of gorilla-armed motherfuckers are you into, weirdo? Chicks have conveniently-placed necks for steering, thank you very much.
Pathetic, desperate girls are never missed ‘cause whenever you turn around… there they are.
me: So what’s on today’s agenda?
her: I think I’m going to the celebration.
me: Aw, The Brave Little Toaster Goes To The Parade!
her: Toaster?
me: Y’know, ‘cause you’re boxy, but hot.
her: ………
The best compliments are always applied with the back of the hand.
