petition to let sleepy, sleepy girls wear big cozy comfy sweaters that smell like love to the office
I should have shot my load in a sock and sent it home with you to cuddle like a stuffie.
And you’re gonna have to wash the sweater eventually. For Christmas, I may just get all of you bottles of my shower gel so you can huff my scent without wearing dirty clothes like fucking pauper children.
Hey beautiful I am sorry if this offends you but I find you really attractive and I’d like you to be my sugar baby just letting you know my intentions incase you will be interested… we could talk terms and weekly allowance later …. just basically paying for your time.
“Hi! I have a lonely penis no one is touching, I have no interest in doing anything that would make said sad cock more sociable, and my extensive understanding of women —derived entirely from stalking OnlyFans accounts, staring at uncomfortable girls on the street, and listening to my bitch mother— tells me that your gullibility is outstripped only by your greed. I’m just glad the bar for Internet Men is so fucking low that my performative friendliness will confuse your malformed chick-brain into ignoring my obvious contempt and fear of your sexuality and individuality, allowing me to get a good look at them titties. Please enjoy this copy-n-pasted babble… it means as much to me as you do.”
I’m so in love with him. I’m so in love with him. I’m so in love with him.
He is my King; my everything. He gives my meager life purpose, and I am eagerly devoted to him forevermore <3
…and yet, how many times has she referred to me as “my Liege”? Zero.
She has perhaps the most distinctive, machine-gun-fast “yes Daddy” anyone has ever heard, but nowhere in all her hours of babble has there been one mention of “your Majesty”.
I feel my regal vastness has been underappreciated. Work on that, runt.
“awwww, what’s the matter, fuckpig?” crooned in my ear as I clung to his shirt, whimpering into his arm and grinding against his leg
Is that what happened to my leg? I thought maybe a slug had somehow crawled in through the open window and used my knee as a resting place in the night.
