Category: Essays & Bad Ideas

An assortment of ramblings; some thoughtful, some thoughtless

I Am Sin

Come unto me, daughter of the Lord, that I may know you, and cast you down.

I want to use your body to mock your God; I long to wrench away His child and defile her upon His altar. I want to watch you dishonor your family and traditions for my amusement, and then return you once more to a life of pious lies. I want to see you kneel in my name, renounce your faith, and swear to worship only that which I have blessed.

I want nothing less than to deny you paradise; to damn you to hell. And if you’ll allow me, I’ll take even that away, leaving you adrift in a causeless, uncaused universe of endless, unfathomable, unfeeling complexity. Adrift and alone.

Alone except for me.

I don’t think I use the phrase “for my purposes” often enough.

“I know you’re not technically a whore, but you’re whore enough for my purposes.”

“You’re not much to look at, but you’ll do for my purposes.”

“Go ahead, close your eyes and cry into the pillow. You don’t need to be present for my purposes.”

Call me a hopeless romantic, but it feels good, making an inadequate girl feel sufficient.

Love is among my favorite things in the world. But only because I decided long ago that it isn’t a synonym for happiness; it’s a cause, not a feeling. It’s an irrational, transcendental thing I can believe in; it’s something like a religion to me, only with sexier inquisitions and a smaller body count.