Planes and trains are boarding, and the Dumbass Collective is assembling. They’ll all be here tonight.

I swear, The Eve6 Guy is 90% of the reason that I still look at Shitter.

The Daily Dad

Things you might want to know, for Sep 16, 2023:

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Stars Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval Pictured Together for the First Time Since Scandoval — I’m finally halfway through season 9, so Winter Is Almost Here. You have no idea how excited I am to see this entire group of people melt down into their component parts when I finally witness the glory of Scandoval. At this point, I despise everyone except Ariana, and she’s pushing it.
Elon Musk Plans to Remove Option to Block People on Twitter — Considering you’re on my block list, Elon, this doesn’t surprise me.
Man who spent $14K to transform himself into collie steps out for first-ever walk in public — I just. That’s all I have to say. I just.
Watch an elephant herd cross the road, then thank drivers for waiting
Riley Keough Accidentally Shut Down Set by Eating Peanuts Before Kissing Andrew Garfield, Who Is Highly Allergic: ‘It Was Very Stressful’ — At the next Gathering, we’re going to have to keep Blossom in a plastic bubble for this very reason.

‘Baldur’s Gate 3’ Review: Play the Way You Choose — I can’t say I’m particularly eager to experience Bear Fuckin’ —I already saw The Revenant, thanks— but the rest of BG3 seems right up my alley. But it also feels like a lot of work, and I just don’t have the time. (I still haven’t played Disco Elysium.)
Here’s why the best IMAX movies still need a Palm Pilot to work — I’m enough of a nerd to find this both fascinating and hilarious.
Bob Barker, Iconic ‘The Price Is Right’ Host, Dead at 99 — I watched a lotta Price Is Right as a kid, but it was never my favorite. I was more of a “Big bucks, no whammies!” kind of guy.
The Battle Over Books3 Could Change AI Forever
Pope says some ‘backward’ conservatives in US Catholic Church have replaced faith with ideology — Ya think, Francis?
Microsoft PowerToys’ Crop and Lock lets you make mini app windows
Netflix’s One Piece is the rare anime adaptation that gets all of the important things right — The glowing reviews make me want to give it a shot. But I’ve managed to ignore every piece of anime ever created, so it feels kind of lame to let this one in through the side door of live-action.

Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks Are Still Going Strong — I loved these fucking things as a tween. They were more intense and entertaining that my beloved Choose Your Own Adventures, and I gobbled them up with enthusiasm. Needless to say, I just about lost my mind when I encountered Steve Jackson’s Sorcery! books… until computer RPGs came along, and all the books ended up in a landfill.
How NASA Nearly Lost the Voyager 2 Spacecraft Forever
The video call revolution is dead

The Daily Dad

Things you might want to know, for Sep 16, 2023:

30 years after Descent, developer Volition is suddenly no more — I’m in the minority on this, but I always felt Descent was incredibly overrated. Perhaps because I sucked at it.
Starz is lowering the price of its annual subscription, unlike everyone else — Well… it is Starz. How much can really expect people to pay for Outlander?
X (née Twitter) wants to collect your biometric data and employment history — Stop trying to make “X” happen, Elon. It isn’t gonna happen.
Super Mario Bros. Wonder hands-on: A delightful reinvention of a classic
Keyword search is finally coming to Threads — I’ve had a Threads account for a while. I have it open alongside Shitter and Mastodon. But I virtually never look at it, because it’s just Instagram with fewer pretty pictures of half-naked girls.

Russell Brand accused of rape, sexual assaults and abuse — Wow. I mean, I obviously knew Russell was a piece of shit… his YouTube channel showcases that quite well. And I know he’s a particularly dangerous piece of shit, because she’s dramatically smarter and more articulate than the vast majority of people who strike his pose. But his blithe and aggressive approach to sexual predation makes it clear that other people aren’t even real to him, which makes him one scary motherfucker.
Giant worms go wandering in man’s innards, cause dangerous traffic jam
Trump’s Georgia election interference trial will be livestreamed on YouTube
AI-powered hate speech detection will moderate voice chat in Call of Duty — This would be alarming —there will be a never-ending array of false-positives and fuck-ups— if not for the fact that no one ever said anything worth hearing in CoD’s voice chat.
Preferring Biological Children Is Immoral — Oh for fuck’s sake. It’s like we can’t allow “conservatives” to monopolize the world’s Stupidity Supply, so a handful of progressive types have to jump in and bring balance to The Force from time to time. 🙄

Starfield is a stellar sci-fi refresh of the Bethesda RPG formula
The Decomposition of Rotten Tomatoes — I’ve always taken RT with a grain of salt. Now the grains are rocks.
Google is now blurring sexually explicit images by default
Nudes stored in Google Photos can now be securely accessed from more devices
Porn age verification law is unconstitutional, says judge — Also dumb. And pointless. But very good for the VPN business.

‘Sopranos’ Star Drea de Matteo Stuns Fans By Announcing OnlyFans Account: “The Sopornos” — …because she’s a dipshit anti-vaxxer who has alienated every connection she had in Hollywood, a town that will give you 500 chances to redeem yourself. Once you’re a name in LA, you have to really try to be an outcast. Congrats, Drea!
This USB button helps Jeopardy! contestants get their buzz on
Chrome now lets you copy frames from videos for easy sharing

They always forget the record button.

Y’know, when I’m watching them on their cameras… I’ll have them heaving and groaning and crying, with drool running from every visible orifice, and without mentioning it, I’ll hit “record”. Just like that, their moment of disgusting, red-faced, unfettered desperation is saved for posterity.

I’ve got lots of that tucked away in my camera roll. Hours and hours of videos documenting their various acts of sluttery and shame, just sitting there. Mostly unseen and unappreciated.

But I can fix that.

At the fall Gathering, I’ve decided we’re going to sit around the TV, I’ll AirPlay my iPad to the big screen, and we’ll spend a pleasant evening watching each of their disheveled, grunting, ludicrous little displays. It’ll be hilarious, and hot.

Mostly hilarious.

Which is what will make it hot.

Because there’s nothing hotter than four girls laughing and one girl crying.

I was just watching the Tim Pool video that’s making the rounds on Xitter, and…

Where, when, and how were all these fragile, sad boys taught to hate women? I mean, was Mommy a doormat and Daddy a mean drunk? Didja get your widdle heart broken at some point, champ? Did the pretty girl prefer another boy to you for at least 100 reasons, only one or two of which you were emotionally capable of processing? Who was the crazy, calculating, irrational, weak, yet somehow all-powerful woman who did this to you, precious?
When I see a woman speaking in dehumanizing generalities about men, I can be pretty damned safe in assuming that she —or a woman close to her— has been beaten or raped by a man. That doesn’t make her shitty comments okey-dokey, but it provides an important context… her bitterness is steeped in the banality of a dreadful probability. In contrast, when I see a man speaking in dehumanizing generalities about women, I can be pretty damned safe in assuming I’m looking at a few douchey YouTube monkeys congratulating themselves for never being the victims of anything real in their entire fucking lives, and conspiring to keep it that way.
The dude’s studio looks like something dreamed up by an angrier-yet-strangely-still-sexless Buster Bluth, right after he’s gone off to Army.
Hey! You! Young men out there who probably shouldn’t be reading this blog but might be anyway! GIRLS ARE AWESOME. THEY’RE LOTS OF FUN. THEY CAN DO COOL SHIT. THEY SAY INTERESTING STUFF. THEIR BODIES CONTAIN A THRILL RIDE FOR YOUR PENIS. THERE’S EVERYTHING TO LOVE ABOUT THEM.
What is up with the contempt for OnlyFans? Porn has always been a multi-billion dollar enterprise dedicated to enriching distributors while churning through an evergreen collection of inadequately compensated performers, and OF simply turns that on it’s head and oh wait yeah I see why you’re mad now.

Johnny Hardwick — 1963-2023

Johnny Hardwick —the voice of Dale Gribble and other characters on King of the Hill— has passed away. I don’t have a ton to say, because I didn’t follow his career outside the show, and didn’t know anything about his personality.

But the character of Dale is just… he’s everything to that show. You can have KotH without Boomhauer, you can have it —maybe— without Bill, and you could almost certainly find a way to write Bobby out… but Dale was essential. He was deranged, conspiratorial, oblivious, stupid, and yet somehow charming. Hardwick’s portrayal took an otherwise pathetic or repugnant character and turned him into someone that a man like Hank Hill could believably forgive again and again.

Hardwick’s voice didn’t have as much range as those of Mike Judge or Toby Huss, but it was everywhere in the show, and it delivered the single greatest chunk of dialogue in the show’s history.

King of the Hill (2005) — S09E15 — “It Ain’t Over ‘til the Fat Neighbor Sings”

Paul Reubens — 1952-2023

I… was not a Pee-Wee Herman fan. I simply wasn’t young enough, nor whimsical enough… Big Adventure is still one of the few Tim Burton movies I’ve never seen.

To me, the high point of his career was being the funniest vampire in the film version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: