Are you watching Love Island this year?And/or any ultimate fave contestants over the years?

Are you watching Love Island this year?And/or any ultimate fave contestants over the years?

Are you watching Love Island U.K. this year?

And/or any ultimate fave contestants over the years?

bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls:

I am indeed… I’m always behind by a few eps, but we’ll be watching S10E25 tonight.

I’ve gotta admit, it’s been a terribly disappointing season so far. On a purely physical level, this cast is a villa-sized dumpster fire… outside of Ella and Leah, none of the girls have been appealing, and the boys are just as bad. (How the fuck did they even let Jess and Dad Bod through the door on day one?) And the kids know it, too… they’ve all been holding out for hotter people to show up and save them from the mediocrity, but after a series of boring bombshells entered, they’re finally, reluctantly falling into couples.

(I wish someone would slip a note to these two, just to remind them they are way too hot for this horseshit.)

Thankfully, the Molly twist could save the whole thing. Once she blows up Zach’s new status quo at Casa Amor, the dominos might begin falling, and we’ll see some of these tedious fuckers start crying and screaming. (‘Bout damned time.)

P.S. The most interesting thing so far this series has been the kerfuffle around Ian’s “Nigerian prince” joke. The fact that so many people don’t know what he’s referencing means we have officially left the early days of the internet behind.

P.P.S. I overlooked the “ultimate fave” thing.

Georgia was on my first full series of Love Island, and while she was a drunken, screaming loon on the show, I could stare at her all day long. “I’M LOY-UHL!”

Francesca wasn’t even vaguely the prettiest bird to be on the show, but I loved her sense of style… the other girls were all going for “hot club slut”, while Francesca was wearing flowier, softer outfits.

Paigey Baby! (Lewis Capaldi and Finley should have never let her get away.)

I’m gonna cheat a little and include Love Island Australia here, ‘cause like MAFS, the Aussies have the best version of the show. So Anna McEvoy was pretty much the prettiest girl to ever do any version of Love Island, and also one of the sweetest. Tall as hell, yes, but still… those eyes!

Thanks to all the alcohol restrictions and mental health concerns, we will never have another couple like Curtis and Amy… and the show is worse for it.

Megan: a walking, (sort of) talking testament to the triumph of surgery over nature.

Okay, so Maura… arguably, Tommy and Molly-Mae were the central couple of her season, but Maura pretty much ran that villa from the moment she entered. I’d say she was the star of the show, but…

…let’s face it, the real star was Ellie Belly.

Catching Up With The Surians

After avoiding it like the plague for ten years now, I’m finally watching Vanderpump Rules. (Just finished season four, with a loooong way to go.)

That seems accurate.

Stassi’s occasionally funny, and her post-Amazing Race glow-up was successful, so good for her. But based on what I’ve read about her “future” —I’m still back in 2015— she might just be a total piece of shit. We’ll see.

No, you are not.

The only thing stopping Jax from being a truly dangerous individual is all the empty space between his ears. The mystifying thing is that he manages to charm people who don’t actually want to fuck him.

Yes, you are.

Hard pass. On every conceivable level. Just go away.

He really does.

James falls into the funny-but-unconscionable category with roughly half the cast. The fact that he’s an emotional twelve year old makes it slightly easier to forgive, but not by much.

Katie’s probably the closest thing to a fully developed human being the show has to offer, with the most relatable problems… she’s unhappy as a minion but can’t be a mastermind, her boyfriend is scared of everything, and she has a tendency to eat her feelings. I can imagine comfortably sitting in a room talking about the weather with Katie, which is more than I can say about anyone else.

No shit, dude. The mere fact that you allow woman after woman on this show to call you a pussy and choose to do fuck-all about it means they’re right.

Congrats, pussy.

Oh, Scheana. So tiny, and pretty, and (relatively) inoffensive. And so, so, so dumb.

Just astonishingly dumb. Wow.

He’s not yet a worm-with-a-mustache in 2015, but he’s definitely some kind of shaved-down invertebrate. Like all the dudes on this show, he’s a man-whore with an inexplicable level of self-regard, whose primary talent seems to be surrounding himself with people so fucking useless that he looks stable in comparison.

Well, I wouldn’t go that far. But Ariana is the show’s reigning Bad Hair Champion, no question.

The only person on VR who’s actually as hot as she thinks she is.

Having never watched more than 30 seconds of any season of any Real Housewives show, I came into this with no preconceptions. And I still don’t know what I think of Lisa… is she actually the weird fusion of British and Californian tendencies that she seems, or is she just a hardened veteran of the reality TV game who knows what will play on camera? I have no clue.