That’s kind of a huge topic, but one piece of it is “learn to speak with intent”.
I know it’s cool to tell The Olds that communicating in more than ironic in-crowd gibberish and meme-speak is unnecessary, and if you have nothing particular or intimate to convey, that’s probably true. A “THIS IS FINE” gif can get a point across to a diverse population with minimal effort, after all.
But that’s the thing… expressing your emotions shouldn’t be easy. They’re your emotions, and they’re precisely as memorable and meaningful as you make them. Don’t just spew your thoughts… make careful choices.
Something I constantly recommend: Al Pacino directed one of my favorite movies back in ‘96, entitled Looking For Richard. On the surface, it’s an excuse for a bored fiftysomething to indulge himself and his film-actor buddies… “let’s put on a cheap production of Richard III and record it!” But in reality, it’s (a) the best Shakespeare For Dummies ever created, and (b) an opportunity for Pacino and the audience to explore what it means to use language to extract and elevate the base material of the human condition.
And the tone is set in the first five minutes, when a toothless old homeless guy speaks fervently to the camera.
It feels unfair that I never give Ally Sheedy credit for being a part of many of the movies I loved as a kid. Perhaps it’s because she was seldom the centerpiece in a cast, or perhaps because I wouldn’t start appreciating her look for another ten years… whatever the case, I seldom think about her, and when I do, it’s solely related to The Breakfast Club.
But when I look at her filmography, there’s a lot I’ve forgotten.
Wargames (1983)
It wasn’t a Good Movie, but Wargames probably had a bigger impact on my life than any other film. I walked out of the theater convinced that I needed to understand how computers worked, ASAP. And even after I learned that one could not, in fact, trigger a Global Thermonuclear War from one’s bedroom, and that simply using a damned modem all the time would cost your parents hundreds of dollars in phone bills, I still wanted to understand. The topic consumed my life for the next twenty years.
Again, Oxford Blues was not a Good Movie. It was a pretty standard Rob Lowe Vehicle of that era, although casting Julian Sands was a rather bold choice. Anyway, it’s hard for a movie about rowing to be memorable, and OB isn’t. What it had going for it was HBO and The Movie Channel, who ran the thing almost as relentlessly as they did Eddie & The Cruisers.
Oxford Blues (1984)
(Virtually none of you know this, but Eddie & The Cruisers was a delightfully cheesy piece of rock ‘n roll melodrama. Someone wrote exactly one killer song for a movie about a band with one killer song[1], they hired a young Tom Sizemore and young-ish Joey Pants to make Michael Pare look good as their lead, slipped it into theaters… and it bombed. But once it hit HBO and was shoved in front of our faces four times a day, the song became a Billboard success and the movie earned an unnecessary, disappointing sequel. And that’s what activist fandom gets you, kids: The Snyder Cut and Eddie & The Cruisers 2. Oh, and a third season of Roswell. Yay?)
St. Elmo’s Fire (1985)
Let’s face it, there was only one actress that a high school boy could see in St. Elmo’s Fire, and it wasn’t Ally. Also, and this is just between us… Andrew McCarthy always bugged me. Fuck him. #TeamDucky
Short Circuit (1986)
I’m noticing a pattern here… both Ally Sheedy and I liked a lot of shitty movies in the ’80s. But I won’t even pretend that I simply “liked” this crap… I loved it. To this day, within five seconds of hearing the name “Stephanie” or a reference to “number 5”, that grating robot voice bursts to life in my brain.
Hm. Looking back at this list, I suspect that I tend to overlook Ally because her career is basically the jewel that is The Breakfast Club, sandwiched by a lot of cinematic mediocrity that I mostly enjoyed Because It Was There And I Was Bored.
So MTV has semi-accidentally made Important Television in the 21st century. I did not see that coming.
Just as the original 1992 installment should have been an escapist trifle about cute twentysomethings sharing a New York loft and fighting over who’s not doing dishes, the 2021 show should have been a relatively sedate circle-jerk of fiftysomethings —my generation is looking old as fuck, y’all— congratulating themselves for being pioneers and showing off their various personal achievements.
But now as then, Becky happened.
And this time, it’s just… holy fuck, woman. How the hell can you be the exact same person, twenty-nine years later? How is that even possible, Rebecca?
The last few years of smartphone videos have shown us many an unhinged asshole shoving her entitlement and outrage in the faces of innocent people who had the temerity to exist inconveniently, but what is seldom recorded are the little moments of low-volume shittiness that POC tell us about… those “I took an African dance class and no longer see race” moments. Those “I have black friends” moments. Those someone-can’t-tell-the-difference-between-being-uncomfortable-and-attacked moments.
And that’s exactly what Homecoming gives us. The producers handed Kevin and Becky an opportunity to reflect on their famed 1992 argument about race, and it should have been a breeze. All they had to do was give Kevin a chance to restate his then-radical-now-mainstream ideas about institutional racism and inequity, let Becky nod sagely and say that she wished she’d listened more, and… that’s it. Conversation over. Everyone could have gone back to drinking, passing around baby pictures, and lamenting that Eric was stuck in quarantine after testing positive for COVID just as they started shooting.
Oh but no. Becky couldn’t have that. She had to be That White Chick who instinctively identifies with the worst fucking people, interrupts any conversational tangent that makes her squirm, and yet becomes indignant when she is interrupted. She had to make sure that Her Opinion was registered, and demand that it be validated as generously as her insane ramblings about Hasbro connecting her to the ghost of John Lennon.
Of course, the result is only Important Television if the people who need to see it, do… the original show was a big deal because if you were a teen or twentysomething in the USA and had MTV, you watched MTV. The new show, meanwhile, is a Paramount+ streaming exclusive, so its reach is going to be meager. But if you have a relative from 45 to 55 who is skeptical about “all the racism stuff” and who talks like the NYT but reacts like Fox News, it might be worth gifting them a subscription and luring them into watching it with promises of ‘90s nostalgia —there’s plenty on hand, I promise!— before allowing the Blossoming of a Karen to manifest before their eyes.
His greatest fame came from playing an insanely determined but ultimately contrite cable guy on Seinfeld, and a greasy bartender who pimps out the high school girl he’s having kinky sex with on Twin Peaks, but more than that, he was one of those character actors who served as part of the connective tissue that held together ‘80s and ’90s pop culture.
And it’s all right, yeah, I’ll be fine Don’t worry ‘bout this heart of mine Just take your love and hit the road There’s nothing you can do or say You’re gonna break my heart anyway So just leave the pieces when you go
What are we calling “Gen Z” in this context? Do Lana Del Rey and Lorde and Tove Lo and First Aid Kit count? If so, then there are a number of contenders.
If it needs to be late 20teens stuff, though? Fuck, I dunno. Something from Billie Eilish, maybe? George Ezra’s too old, I think. Umm… Dave’s “Lesley”. Let’s go with that.
It’s been 40 years, and I still say Satan totally won the fiddle battle in “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.” It wasn’t even close. That song is pure anti-Devil propaganda.
Bonus take: Lucias Cray may have been a greedy old man, but I wish his ghost nothing but the best in defending his lost treasure from interlopers.
The first few seasons of Arrested Development were some of the best ever produced for broadcast television, while the first few seasons of Archer out-Office’d The Office. And Jessica Walter was the bedrock upon which both shows rested.
Neither Lucille One nor Mallory would appreciate it, but you’ll be missed, dear lady.
Cherry is incredibly well-acted and beautifully made… it’s unfortunate that its alternate title could be 500 Days of Full Metal Jacket. Both the Russos and Tom Holland have now ably demonstrated their range, and someday I hope they collaborate on a movie that isn’t a retread with an unearned ending.
(Loved Ciara Bravo’s neck-ribbon, though.)
I Care A Lot’s plot revolves around one of the most horrifyingly common and shameful practices in the American health and legal systems. I hope it raises awareness and saves a few families from the predations of vile people.
But that doesn’t stop the movie from being evil fucking fun. In fact, Hollywood needs to have a cottage industry devoted entirely to making Rosamund Pike Vehicles. Just movie after movie, built around one coldly calculating monster of a character after another. The joy she takes in embodying feminine amorality is palpable. You can almost see it in her eyes sometimes: “I’m a woman and they’re going to let me get away with being this fist-pumpingly depraved… isn’t it grand?”
