Category: Questions & Answers

Anon: When you guys are all together, do you ever get 1 on 1 time with any of them? If so, what do the other girls do?

At the very least, everyone gets a little private arrival and bye-bye time… the better to contain the zoomies at the start and the weepies at the end. During NOLA they each had the opportunity to sleep next to me, so they all had eight-ish hours alone with me there… hm.

Let me add this up. Individual moments of private praising/scolding… occasions when I cornered them in the bathroom… hug-hug-forehead kiss-“deep breath, settle down”-hug-hug-grab cunt and pinch-slap ass-“get back in there champ” time…

I dunno, add it all up and they probably got 10-ish hours apiece. Maybe more, but that’s the baseline.

RE: what do the other girls do

They live like typical listless twentysomethings, enslaved to the rectangular glass teat in their purses: they scroll Instagram and occasionally conspire on ways to politely and respectfully convince me to get back to hurting people.

Anon: i know you don’t like breast implants. but what about lip filler? i think it looks really nice, i kinda wanna get it. curious what a man thinks tho

To clarify, I don’t have a problem with modest breast implants. I don’t think they’re necessary in general, but specific bodies and specific outfits can sometimes look better with a bit of augmentation.

Lip filler, meanwhile…? It’s none of my business what random women do with their bodies, but in terms of someone trying to appeal to me specifically, fillers are unwelcome.

With that said, I can’t speak for men as a whole. From what I can tell, lots of guys love balloon tits and duck lips, so don’t let my biases stand in your way.

Anon: Hello Mr. Bedtime!

Do the girls you own have to be into everything you are? I admit I have little sex and BDSM experience so this will probably change, but I’ve never been sexually humiliated beyond the usual name calling. I do think I’d like it but I’m also so sensitive lol

Thank you for your time 🥰

I get into something new with most every woman I meet… my libido is a Katamari made of girlish perversions. So it would be somewhere between challenging and impossible for someone to be into everything, especially given that “everything” is an evolving set.

Let’s put it this way: if someone is making my life better, her limitations don’t matter; if she isn’t, her limitations are all that matter.

RE: I have little sex and BDSM experience

Just for future reference, I’m not where you go to figure it out. I’m where you go to make use of it.

RE: the usual name calling

It’s weirdly unsatisfying, isn’t it? Being called “a cunt” or “a pigwhore” or “an amalgam of every vile and tawdry thing that has ever clouded with shame the countenance of a woman” is hot for a while —transgression always is— but it only stays hot when someone goes past the generic insults and rummages around in your very personal and foundational insecurities so he can pull out the best ones and show them to you while you rub yourself.

RE: but I’m also so sensitive

They always are. That’s why their cunts get so wet when their sensitivities are exposed and played upon like the strings of some woeful, wailing instrument.

And in turn, that is why you need basic experience. You need to know if you’ll make beautiful, pleasing music when you’re played, or if all you have inside you is a discordant dirge.

Anonymous asked:

i think blowjobs are really scary! i have this fear that if i gag during a blowjob i’ll puke! what if i just rub your cock until you cum?

If “scary” is an impediment, you’re not gonna get far with me.

Losing your privacy is scary. Surrendering your authority over your body, relationships, profession, food, money, and future is scary. Getting on a plane to meet me is scary. Knocking on the door is scary. Being stripped and inspected is scary. Realizing you’re owned is scary.

By the time you’re in a room with me, you’ll have already done many, many things that are far more worrisome than puking during a BJ. So just relax, spend the day fasting, and resolve to lick up any mess you make… problem solved.

And for the record, the only parts of you I want rubbing my cock are inside you.

Anonymous asked:

Would you train someone to handle your degrading and insulting remarks or wait to find the right one? Because it’s hot to read it as a story but hard to digest someone could live with that day to day.

The things I say and do should naturally enlighten you, amuse you, or make you wet… I’m not interested in “training” someone to enjoy my company.

I want girls who can’t imagine a life without me, not girls who need to be convinced.

foreverexploringsexuality asked:

1. The earth is flat.

2. Religion isn’t fascist bureaucracy poorly cosplaying as sincerity.

3. Mint chocolate chip is a bad flavour of ice cream.

4. Africa – no not the song, I’m talking about the country.

5. Allison’s makeover in The Breakfast Club was a directorial stroke of genius.

6. Spotted Dick can be ordered in a restaurant without laughing.

7. The early 2000s rumour was true and Ciara is in fact a man.

8. Card game rules are easy to remember.

9. My Wife and Kids deserved to be cancelled.

10. The Swiss Alps > French Alps.

(because stupidity is a comforting respite for now ❤️‍🩹)

This calls for a whimsical response.

• The world is, in fact, a disc, sitting upon the backs of four giant elephants, who are, in turn, standing atop the carapace of a space-turtle named A’Tuin. Or Tony, as I like to call him… we’re buds.

• Religion is the corporatization of spirituality. It is faith-by-committee. It exists not to celebrate, but to perpetuate. Also it killed my father… prepare to die.
• I don’t care enough about ice cream to have an opinion. But give me a box of Junior Mints and we’re having a party.
• That “I’m talking about the country” made me chuckle. And reminded me that the funniest fucking rant I have ever personally heard was a North African girl going off for about 15 minutes about how much she hated Toto’s “Africa”, only to realize at some point that she was actually talking about Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Her points were rock-solid… once I figured out what she was talking about.
• I haven’t watched TBC in at least 30 years, but I did watch Brats this week. And I’m thinking, “All I’ve learned here is that the least talented member of The Brat Pack thinks his career tanked because of a magazine article that no one actually read.” Andrew, buddy… she should have gone with Ducky. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
• Spotted Dick can be ordered in a restaurant…?
• I had no idea that rumor existed. I remember “1, 2 Step”, but I don’t recall thinking she was packing a dong. What else did I miss? Did Kelis have a tail? Was Cassie a victim of horrific domestic vio— wait, now I’m confused.
• That’s the hidden genius of Uno… the cards refuse to let you forget the rules.
• Was that Damon Wayans? There’s a whole raft of 2K sitcoms that zoomed right past me… for example, if Kevin James hadn’t made Paul Blart, I wouldn’t even know he exists. I honestly don’t know what happened with me and sitcoms in the 2Ks… I loved Scrubs, and dabbled in some quickly-canceled crap like Off Centre, but I veered hard into hour-long drama and dramedy during that era.
• I’ve never been anywhere but Canada, so I don’t have opinions about the Alps. But I’m a man of a certain age, so I do have thoughts about Transalpine Gaul.

Anonymous asked:

What’s the secret of a long relationship? How would you be still interested in the same silly girl who has nothing much to offer other than her three-hole?

The secret is to be with silly girls who have more than holes to offer. The last thing I need is a useless girl. If you’re not good at anything, what good are you?

Fortunately, hard-working, determined girls are almost never useless. They may be dumb as a box of hammers and as emotionally sophisticated as a distracted toddler, but like a really smart dog, they will create a job for themselves if one is not provided.

Also, it helps if they can make me laugh.