Category: Questions & Answers

“Asks” from my Tumblr followers

Is there a level of interaction between “sending asks ans adoring from afar” and…

Is there a level of interaction between “sending asks ans adoring from afar” and “being owned”? Are you accepting applications for friends?

There are two, I suppose.

  1. The stream is a great opportunity for people to hang out and be friendly. For a minimum of six hours a week, you can expose yourself to my weird little interests and infinite digressions… it’s 80% of the experience of knowing me.
  2. I own a girl or two whose lives —for various reasons— limit their usefulness in significant ways. They’re closer to me than random anons and acquaintances, but they’re not part of the Sisterhood… they’re in-betweeners. They’ve known me a long time, I know them better than anyone else in their worlds, and the couple things they can do for me are done with gusto.

You’ll probably need to start with 1 if you want to reach 2 at this point.

I love him a lot. I wish he loved me like I love him.

Some people need symmetrical love… or at least the plausible appearance of it. I hope your wish comes true.

If he’s anything like me, though? He may love you in ways that make you feel safer and more purposeful and better understood than you’ve ever been in your life, but it’ll never be anything like your love for him. You can have peace, pleasure, and passion… but you’ll never achieve parity.

A man can have many daughters, but you only have one Dad.

Months ago a man said to me “youre pretty smart, for a dumb little toy,” and im still thinking about it. Made me swoon so hard

I try to avoid engaging with actual stupid girls… they’re cute like puppies, but then you get them home and they can barely feed themselves. And like most dogs, they’re horrible conversationalists.

I prefer smart girls. They can comprehend what I’m saying, will occasionally make me laugh, and I can make at least 30 of their IQ points vanish on a whim. There’s no downside.

I want to tell you about a fantasy I’ve had. And part of me…

I want to tell you about a fantasy I’ve had. And part of me thinks I’m scared you’ll think I’m gross but the truth is…im scared you won’t think anything at all. I’m scared of baring my soul in your askbox and it then collecting dust.

That could definitely happen. If the fantasy doesn’t speak to me, it’ll probably just sit there… and for it to speak to me, it’ll need to be so particular and intimate and revealing that you’ll struggle to even post it on anon.

Also I might think you’re gross. But that could be a good thing. Or, okay, maybe not good —because you’re ew— but not-bad. It could be just a thing. A gross, perverted, twisted thing.

You’re not the dom I want. I cant be with someone whos not ok with me being with anyone else, I don’t actually have any interest in submitting fully, I dont want to play with piss or have sex that makes me feel gross, and I definitely don’t want to be with someone that would view me as a toy without first recognizing my autonomy as their partner or teammate.

But there are specific things about you/your dom style that are very appealing to me. I like how you care for your girls like it’s your duty to protect them, I like how it seems you feel equally responsible for providing them with the enrichment (sadism) they need, I like that you seem to have a tendency to educate others (intentionally or not), and I like that you have visibility into every part of your girls lives.

Thank you for helping paint a clearer picture of what I need and want from a dom.

If you have any advice on how to further solidify that picture and possibly come to realize exactly what I want and need I would really appreciate it

It’s good to know what you don’t want, and even better to learn what you do. I’m proud of you.

I don’t know if I have any cogent advice, but I can summon some random thoughts about some of the attributes you’ve mentioned… but bear in mind that I’m not trying to dispute your conclusions. I’m just pondering.

RE: being with anyone else

It depends on the nature of the relationship. If I intend to fuck you or bind you to me in perpetuity, no, I won’t accept any kind of extracurricular “being”. (We keep it in the family, thanks.) But I see ownership in other terms as well… there are girls I own who —with permission— have other entanglements; some physical, some not. If everyone benefits and I’m not impeded… why not?

RE: without first recognizing my autonomy

If recognition is the important bit, that’s easy… I can’t take it away if I can’t see it. And from what I’ve seen, losing your independence is hotter when your independence has been actively exerised.

RE: duty to protect them

It’s a shepherd’s job to steer the flock out of harm’s way. Why would you do anything else? Who wants to leave their charges to the wolves?

RE: tendency to educate

I just think aloud. Or with a keyboard. I’m always teaching myself something as I talk. I’m often as surprised by the conclusion as anyone else.

RE: visibility into every part

I feel like this conflicts a lot with the “submitting fully” thing. I have a 360 degree view into their private worlds because I need one… they’ve given me the license to do as I please with their lives, and I’ll do more harm than good if I can’t see what I’m touching.

I’m not saying that an all-seeing, no-curtains, comprehensive-transparency-thing requires a concomitant loss-of-agency-thing. But they’re two great tastes that taste great together.

RE: thank you

You’re very welcome, nice person.

You told anon she could heal as long as she gave up the things that have made her wet; do you truly think liking the things we like makes us worse? Or bad? Or broken?

My take on the anon’s question is that she was distressed by her urges, and considered them to be part of something that needed healing. And I wanted her to know that yes, she can live a different life if that’s what she wants. She shouldn’t feel trapped by her kinks unless her kink is for triggering traps.

Aside from that… “the things we like” encompass a whole lotta stuff, and “we” adds up to a whole lotta people. For some folks, doing X will indeed make them worse. For some folks, doing X will bring them greater fulfillment than anything they’ve ever known.

Some of us can eat peanuts without dying, while some of us can’t. Some of us can smoke weed and laugh, while some of us get paranoid. Some of us can free-solo up a cliff face, and some of us trip over cracks in the sidewalk. “Bad” is determined by individual capabilities and circumstances, not activities.