Category: Questions & Answers

“Asks” from my Tumblr followers

If you could do so legally, would you make any of your girls get their clits removed?

Girls are worth more if you keep them in near-factory condition. You start chopping off parts and next thing ya know, the trade-in value is gone.

But if Pinky keeps begging, who knows… someday?

Some older people are against nonbinary as an identity/they pronouns. Do you agree? What’s your opinion if not?

Why would I be against whatever the fuck someone else wants to do with, er… themselves? It’s none of my business.

I mean, sure, it’s annoying, having to deal with someone’s pronoun changes and the resulting linguistic awkwardness… but is it more annoying that having to remember that Susanne in the next cubicle used to be Ms. Anderson but she decided to put on a magic ring and now she’s Mrs. Felton? If I can endure that for someone’s sure-to-end-soon marriage, I can do it for someone’s meandering gender identification. If I slip up and “she” someone who wants to be “they”, I expect the same procedure I’d face if I accidentally drop a “miss” instead of “missus”… which is to say, “Oops, sorry,” followed by “Heh, thanks, no sweat” and the day proceeding as it otherwise would.

Yes, there is a Jerry Seinfeld inside me, who chafes at the idea of calling Bob Cobb “Maestro”. But if someone’s pronouns/honorifics/names/hairstyles irritate me, that means it’s time to avoid that person and do my own thing, not insist said person change what they’re doing.

Other People just aren’t that important. If you’re in my tribe of intimacy, I care what you do and think and present… if you’re not, you’re outside the scope of my concerns. Carry on, my wayward son/daughter/child.

If you’re happy, I’m happy. If you’re bummed, I’ll try not to contribute to it. Stay out of my shit, and I’ll stay out of yours. The end.

Are you active in the kink scene near where you live ?

To my knowledge, there is no kink scene near where I live, and if there were, I promise you I would not participate… it’d just be a bunch of Surrendered Wives and their husbands, who believe that an inability to find the word “swinger” in the Bible clearly establishes that Jesus didn’t have an opinion about wife-swapping.

Frankly, they’d probably call it Sunday School.

How much of your blog is personal and how much is your full and honest worldview?

I was going to skip right past this, but I feel like you might be getting at something important. And if you’re not, at least I was nice enough to give you the benefit of the doubt.

I see a definite distinction in my writing between the private, the public, and the global. [Insert programming joke here.] Many of the things I write are about someone with whom I have a direct, physical, and emotional bond, and don’t apply to anyone else. Many of the things I write are about my horny and ridiculous audience, and don’t apply to anyone else. And many of the things I write are about The World, and the generic people living upon it.

If you’re not old enough or bright enough to discern which context to assign to most of my statements, you’re probably not qualified to be hanging around this blog. Bugger off. It’s for the best.

But here’s an example you can play with that might help crack the code:

When I talk about “women”, I’m talking about humans of the world. When I talk about “girls”, I’m talking about the women who follow me. When I talk about “cunts”, I’m talking about girls who have self-identified as creepy little submissive sex goblins.

Different levels of intimacy and awareness, different assumptions and behaviors.

Im looking into getting a hysterectomy and like, i probably shouldn’t be asking you because i doubt it’ll be positive but,,,, i was just wondering if you had strong thoughts or feelings about people who’ve had that procedure done?

Truthfully, im gonna do it either way, but part of me just needed to know what you think

Okay, where are the newbies coming from, and what set of reblogged posts did they read that lead them to some weird conclusions about how we operate around here? Sheesh.

Why on Mother Nature’s green fucking Earth would I be negative about a serious, life-changing —and possibly life-saving— surgical procedure? In what scenario would I want to make a stranger feel shitty about something so invasive and scary and intense? Even in the era of laparoscopy, a hysterectomy is a major surgery, and I want you to go into it as positive as possible, with an eye toward a smooth recovery.

Quick thoughts:

  • You’re gonna be down and hurting for a while. Be patient. Let people look after you.
  • If they don’t do any remodeling in your abdomen, there will be some vague… settling… as your body figures out something is missing.
  • They don’t use morcellators for hysterectomies anymore, do they? If they do, don’t let them. Maybe your uterus is “clean”, but in general, I feel like it’s a bad idea to go scattering random cells around the abdominal cavity.

Take care of yourself. I hope whatever you’re treating feels better soon.

You keep answering my asks right before my shifts start and then I’m not able to think of anything else for like 40 minutes (or two hours,,,) and i feel so spacey and distracted

My assault on workplace efficiency continues apace.

I’ve been making horny women zone-out at work for 35 years now.

Do you have abandonment issues?

Decades ago, I most certainly did. I didn’t have a particularly good reason for it —I had no long string of lost exes or estranged parents— but I thought very little of myself and assumed people would want to leave me after the slightest provocation.

Now? Nope. I know beyond question that no one ever wants to leave me. And when they sometimes do, it’s down to life’s vicissitudes, not some tragic flaw in Who I Am or Who She Is.

And frankly, it’s impossible to feel abandoned when so many people love you. I can be heartbroken, but I’m never alone.