Category: Questions & Answers

“Asks” from my Tumblr followers

Why do you think BDSM communities are so politically schizophrenic? I feel like there’s no other community I’ve ever been a part of where people were so reliably either hard left anarchists and communists or right wing nuts who have really bought into the male supremacy fantasy they jerk off to. I just don’t know a lot of boring kinky liberals – I think the closest you get these days is people who came to it via sex positivity and have been kind of living under a rock for most of the last decade.

Like it’s something I think about a lot as a woman who gets off on the misogyny thing. It always feels like a gamble whether I want to check the profiles of the people whose posts I masturbate to because they’re as likely to be a Real Patriarch Patriot as they are to just acknowledge this is all a weird sex thing.

And I’m not throwing stones here, I’m the ancom stereotype, it’s just this divide feels kinda unique IME.

(submitted by: Anonymous)

The intersection of sex and power is a place lots of people want to visit, no matter where they’re coming from. It’s going to attract people who embrace it unironically, and people who come at it from a place of fascinated revulsion. And the mere existence of those two groups will inevitably inflame the passions of those at the opposite extreme… just sharing a common space arouses the lot of them in ways they probably don’t want to consider too much.

Speaking as a boring kinky liberal, I think you’re on to something with the sex-positivity comment. I got here via third-wave feminism, and while I live above-ground almost 100% of the time, nothing that’s happened in the last decade has led me to switch horses… I’ve had to re-engineer and tweak my existing philosophy over the years, but I’ve yet to see anything that would make me abandon it. There are probably quite a few of us still hanging around, although in this context, we’re largely indistinguishable from the post-Fleabag, “disassociative feminism” crowd.

I don’t see a ton of the Real Patriarch Patriot stuff ‘cause I block ‘em as soon as they follow me, thus minimizing my reach into that communal subset. I don’t mind the “this is for me, not all women” tradwife crowd, or even kinky konservatism in general… just the angry, entitled types who think the world must be saved from women with nose rings and a relative handful of people who like fucking with the concept of gender.

Please please tell me you have seen Poor Things!!!

Please please tell me you have seen Poor Things!!!

We watched it on the stream a little over a week ago.

It doesn’t really have anything new to say about the Travails of An Infantilized Woman In A Man’s World, but it’s gorgeous, well-performed, funny, and entertainingly written.

Also, Emma Stone clearly wanted to document her goods before they’re past their sell-by date. (Good for you, Emma.)

Are you a spiritual person?

Are you a spiritual person?

I dunno… the simple answer is “no”. The more accurate answer is “sort of, vaguely”.

I don’t believe in omniscient, non-corporeal entities logging my sins, the influence of celestial bodies on human lives, and so on. None of the stuff that people typically think of as “spiritual” appeals to me.

With that said, I’ve witnessed the power of words and their ability to travel across space and time, to upend fates and alter dreams, to start and end wars… to both convey and comprise love. Mine isn’t an otherworldly spirituality… it’s more earthy than that, founded in art and empathy.

Creation is the only spirit I need.