“Teenager.” That’s cute.
More like you weren’t even born the first time I rented a car.
A collection of stories, photo captions, and shoddy poetry
“Teenager.” That’s cute.
More like you weren’t even born the first time I rented a car.
Yes.
That’s like telling her “don’t get wet when I talk”, or “don’t overthink it”.
Some things are inevitable.
it’s not like I can do DICK ALL on here anymore so here’s an actual selfie
Face porn is the best porn.
Good lord.
I’ve heard that when pathetic, whiny girls take a couple dozen shots to the gut, they end up hugging the toilet for half the night like giant babies.
Any truth to the rumor?
I love a good gynecological exam. It’s like Disneyland for me. Girls getting splayed, poked, prodded, and inspected like cattle. A room full of equipment specifically designed to open them up and make them vulnerable. Holding their hands while the doctor lies and tells them “you’ll just feel a little pinch.”
It’s the happiest place on earth.
Made a choker today🙌😄
A girl’s neck is like a yoke you can use to pilot her hopeless ass from place to place.
Until one day, when you take her out over open water and let go, just to watch the nosedive.
Always remember to bite your lip while fucking, girls; it gives your expression a perfect balance of stupidity and determination. And honestly, all any of us really want is a dumb bitch who will try her feeble best every single time.