My home will be spotless, but your body will never be.
Category: Stories & Captions
A collection of stories, photo captions, and shoddy poetry
You know you are one trivial, irritating twat when someone goes to this much trouble to shut you up.
If you didn’t want your ass beaten, then why were you born a whore? Seems like it would have been easier to just be a normal girl, but you couldn’t even get that much right, you mindless little fuck-up.
Pathetic.
“There! Aren’t I doing a good job? I am, right? Do you like me now? Please say you like me now! Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.”
This is so me.
If you aren’t an over-eager little piece of fuck-trash, how else will you ever catch the attention of the garbage man of your dreams…?
I like to set impossible goals for you and then slowly, steadily destroy your soul with an unending recitation of your failures.
That’s something we have in common, I know.
Wouldn’t it be something if you could actually cum with a man who wanted to hear what you think or how you feel? I bet it would really make you feel special.
But alas…
I don’t believe in unfair discrimination. You deserve to have your tits hurt just as much as the next whore, even if you don’t have any.
Damaged goods at bargain prices.
Portable urinals. When you just don’t feel like using the regular urinal, bring a woman to the party.
Especially a blonde one. I don’t know why, but they make the most satisfying urinals of all.
See? I told you guys blondes have more fun!
You realize, of course, that once I’m done pissing on you, you’re walking the fuck home. I’m not going to be seen associating with a damp and reeking gutter cunt in public, and you’re not getting back in the car like that.
On second thought, I have a compromise. Just strip down in the parking lot, throw your clothes in the trunk, and slather on some Purell. Maybe if you blow me with sufficient gusto, I’ll forget how disgusted I am that you let me do any of this to you in the first place, you messed-up little headcase.