Category: Stories & Captions

How hard do I have to hit your tits before you stop moving?

Let’s explore the mystery together, shall we?

Jesus. Someone put a blanket over its cage and maybe it will go to sleep.

Regret isn’t water soluble.

Okay, folks, let’s clear something up. 

I understand that your domestic cunt is handy to have around when you want to punch something with your cock… no matter how stupid or unattractive she might be, her holes are better at catching cum than any Kleenex. So keeping your personal fuck-doll marinating in semen makes sense, even if it makes her more than a little nasty.

And pissing on her? Better to just piss down the bitch’s throat, IMO, but even then you’re going to end up with a little slop here and there. So fine, I accept that the pathetic whore is going to stink for a good chunk of her life. Unavoidable, to some extent… when you accept a piece of shit in your home, you have to figure she’s going to smell like a toilet from time to time.

But given all of that, I feel like a line has to be drawn at food preparation. It’s impossible to have much respect for her, but try to respect yourself, at least… you’ve got to eat the crap she makes, right? So get her skank ass up off the dirty floor, use the power washer on her, and get some fucking latex gloves to cover those bacteria-laden French tips.

Remember: we fuck trash, we don’t eat it.

Personal fulfillment doesn’t always manifest itself the way you think it might. Sometimes its an achievement, or a quiet moment of grace. But sometimes it’s just a cheap whore with a cock down her throat and a haunted look in her eyes.

That’s one of the upsides to being a low-life cunt, I suppose… your place in the world is easy to find and occupy. Getting some awful, ugly man to do awful, ugly things to you isn’t that difficult at all. While all the mature, emotionally developed women are out there like everyone else, struggling to extract meaning from the roiling chaos of modern life, a cunt can just relax and know that her pain and emptiness is all the purpose she’ll ever need.

Forget the stupid whore with her tongue in your asshole… for fuck’s sake dude, look at the wallpaper! The only thing holding it in place at this point is a thin lacquer of piss and particulate shame, and your face can’t be more than a couple inches from it!

No rim job is worth a staph infection. For me, anyway.

Sign of a brain-dead cunt: she acts like she’s ashamed to have her clothes ripped off and sperm slathered all over her face, when what she SHOULD be ashamed of is her half-assed snatch maintenance. You could sand a bookshelf with that thing.

Ah, whores… when one strain of HPV just isn’t enough!