[CONTENT NOTE: Consider the source.]
My girlfriend had a plan.
It was the news that did it, that made her snap. She’d always been angry, defensive, and bitter, but never quite passionate. Clearly, she’d been lacking motivation.
“I can’t stand knowing that these scumbags, these men,” she said, the last word spat like venom, “are out there, just walking around, waiting for a chance to attack someone!… Read the rest “Chain Link (part 1)”
Look at you, trussed up like an animal, painted like a whore, soaked in filth. It’s so obvious, but you’re too fucking deluded to see it.
When a man has to go to this much effort to make you interesting, you have a problem.… Read the rest “Down To Earth”
To this day, I’m amazed at the number of Canadians who follow me.
Who knew America’s Hat was hiding so many greasy little secrets?
You already know what you should do. Unless you were raised in a bubble of female subservience with no access to the outside world, you know what to do when your new man immediately starts banging another chick on the sly.… Read the rest “I Think My new Daddy is cheating on me what should I do … Well no I don’t think I positively know now so 😣”
(I realize that many of you are emotional dunces, and don’t have the first clue how to talk coherently with any adult male, much less one who scares you a little. So I figured I’d start compiling a series of helpful tips that will make our interactions as painless as possible.… Read the rest “A Guide To Cranky Old Men #1”
@rapekittn, @shylittlebaby, @used-trash, @bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls, @intersectdisconnect, @inductionofautosadism among many many many more
How flattering! Now that you mention it, I could see crushing you.
I think you’d be cute, all purple and smooshed.
As men, we break so many things. The least I can do is look you in the eye and acknowledge the mess we’ve made of you.
You’re welcome.
My life was pretty hectic in the mid-2000s, and my television-watching time was mostly swallowed up by Rome, Deadwood, and The Wire. So I should be pleased that it only took me ten years to finish watching Invasion; for comparison’s sake, it will probably be ten more before I bother to find out what happened after season two of Lost.… Read the rest “Invasion (2005)”
Hey there, baby! Daddy’s home from the bar, and, y’know what… he’s had an idea
I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve had enough. Enough of you and the cyclone of bullshit that follows you around, dirtying or destroying everything you touch.… Read the rest “A Commercial Entity”
I think it’s cute that so many of you are surprised and/or disappointed when I’m polite, pay you a compliment, or otherwise treat you like you’re a human being. It’s as if you’re nervously expecting to be attacked by a rampaging sex-ogre, but instead end up getting a pat on the head from Shrek.… Read the rest “”
