how old are you | Bedtime Stories for Broken Girls

Would you still open the door for a woman?

A random woman? Of course, every time. Duh.

One of the Idiots? If she had her hands full. And it was too cold out to stand there watching her struggle. Then maybe.

But I’m not sure either of them really counts as “a woman”.

Brats are anti-you, but still in your opinion submissive right ?

I agree with everything you said I guess I’m just asking for even more elaboration, sorry to be a bother. I know I’ve seen a lot of disagreement over it.

To elaborate…

Girls are submissive —in the sense of personal identity— if they tell me they are.… Read the rest “Brats are anti-you, but still in your opinion submissive right ?”

Hey hello I’m sorry for bothering you but I really need to speak to someone about this. I’ve felt trapped bottling up this confession and need to tell someone and as tumblr is usually a place open to people of all opinions and preferences I figured this is as good a place as any. ‘When You Were Young’ is a better song than ‘Mr. Brightside’.

bruisedxfruits:

bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls:

anewsubstory:

This is the kind of safe space I am proud to provide for the weirdos of the world.

I’m going to play the middle and say Mr. Brightside is an objectively better song, but I prefer When We Were Young.

… Read the rest

I was a huge fan of Deadwood. When I found you, without even noticing your profile photo, I read your posts in his voice. Did you hear a Deadwood movie is in production? I was thrilled to hear it but I couldn’t tell if I was excited for the real Al Swearengen, or to hear you channeled through him.

Most important part first: yes, I did indeed hear the Deadwood movie is in production. (I hope to God they’re in the editing suite by now.) I’ve been waiting on the fucking thing for ten years, so my moribund-franchise-excitement level is somewhere between 2005’s “good for Joss, I look forward to Serenity” and 2017’s “sweet Jesus, Showtime just wrote David Lynch a blank check!”… Read the rest “I was a huge fan of Deadwood. When I found you, without even noticing your profile photo, I read your posts in his voice. Did you hear a Deadwood movie is in production? I was thrilled to hear it but I couldn’t tell if I was excited for the real Al Swearengen, or to hear you channeled through him.”

How do you like a text message on iPhone??? How do you know how to do that and I don’t??? You’re like my dads age???? Am I retarded?

It’s called a Tapback; just tap-and-hold on the message, and pick a response from the menu that appears.
My theory is that you’re an incurious dumbass.
Indeed.
That’s a safe assumption.

Would you date two sisters?

Depends on what the older one offered as an incentive to leave the younger one alone.

Before I read your words I was banged-up, but now I’m broken. I want what you’re selling and I want it bad. Apparently I have a type. Apparently you’re my type – but I’m at least five years past yours. So do you give referrals? Is there a list of similarly minded men and a payment plan for your finder’s fee?

Oh, don’t get hung up on the age thing… I’m not. I generally expect older girls to have a bunch of responsibilities that will distract them from me, but if that’s not true for an individual, then great!

As for any payment plans… just hand me your purse, and I’ll give you back whatever’s appropriate.

I read all of your reblogs/answers to asks in Ian McShane’s voice.

I’m pretty sure that the Idiots do the same thing, and they have daily access to my actual voice.

Sad truth: I am but a vessel for their fantasies of a 76 year old man.

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