I hate asks that start that way; it just doesn’t make sense to me.
“What would you do with me if you owned me for 24 hours?” How the fuck should I know, nitwit? Who are you? What are you?
I mean, okay, if you happened to be conventionally pretty, maybe “I’d bury a load in you” would be the most direct response.… Read the rest “Tell Me What You’d Do…”
A few things:
(1) I’ve never read the book, and am unlikely to see the movie. If I want to watch a film about people wrecking themselves with sexuality, I’ll watch Steve McQueen’s Shame again.
(2) I think the “romanticizing abuse” meme is horseshit.… Read the rest “How do you feel about fifty shades of grey?”
I’m going to get patronizing and paternalistic for a minute… yes, I mean more so than usual. Because I wish some of you crazy bitches could unilaterally reassess your relationship with photography.
Still photography is one of the most unnatural, inhuman inventions in civilization’s robust portfolio.… Read the rest “Cranky Old Man Shit: Photography”
DUDES: I write a blog full of provocative commentary, sociosexual sophistry, and black humor. I am aware of all the blurred lines (yeah, Tumblr, I said that) around reblogging and captioning, and how easy it is to screw up.
But you’ve got to at least try not to be a complete dick about it.… Read the rest “Cranky Old Man Shit: Spare Us”
That’s a bold statement.
… Read the rest “What’s your number 1 fantasy???”sillysexystupid-deactivated2020:
Daddy sewing my cunt shut & forcing me to be an anal only cunt. I like to picture myself kicking & screaming. Begging Him not to. Telling Him He can’t do that, it’s not fair. In my head, Daddy patiently smiles at me, explains that I’m His property, so of course He can do whatever He wants with me.
I’ve already been told that the blog causes orgasm and reduces anxiety; now you’re saying it’s a workout routine, too. Hm.
If I can figure out how to get eight essential vitamins and minerals into this bitch, I’m taking it to the FDA.
It’s been correctly observed that I lean heavily on cheap slurs like “cunt”, “whore”, and “slut” in my writing, and I’ll grant you, I’m probably a touch lazy about it on occasion. But in my defense, please bear in mind that I’m trying to manipulate otherwise-reasonable women into masturbating to perverted prose poetry; I need all the help I can get.… Read the rest “Cranky Old Man Shit: Slurred”
If you don’t know who U2 is*, first, unfollow me because you’re an infant. But if you’re still here… you have horrible, awful, neglectful parents who hate you. Please go find someone who can explain to you that the world existed before 1996.… Read the rest “Cranky Old Man Shit #3”
Y’know, I started to write something snarky and/or flirty, and realized I need to put that on hold for a second.
I don’t say this often enough: it’s nice to be adored, even by a grayfaced little ‘fraidy-cat.
Some people wait a lifetime to be told something like that, and I’d do well to appreciate all of you lovely little freaks while I have you.… Read the rest “I adore you.”
