A Modest Suggestion

 Y’know, if you really wanted to stick it to someone like Bill Cosby, all you’d need to do is make sure that all news articles and think-pieces about him first refer to him as “Bill Cosby (writer/star of *Leonard Part 6*)”. So if you’re writing about his life, you could introduce the subject with something like “Bill Cosby (writer/star of *Leonard Part 6*) has been accused of sexual assault by over 50 women…”

See, he doesn’t care about the women or the accusations; he long ago rationalized them away. He’s never going to jail, he’s never going to be poor again, and the sand in his life’s hourglass is rapidly trickling down. You can’t hurt him with crimes and misdemeanors.

But if you could ensure that every published mention of him included a reference to his greatest professional failure? *That* would hit him where he lives. For generations to come, the work most associated with him —the one referenced in every internet search result for his name— would be the most worthless and humiliating. Not the Noah and the Ark bit, not “Dad is great, he gave us chocolate cake”, not *Fat Albert*, not *The Cosby Show*… *LP6*, baby.

Plus it’s probably not appropriate to bring up serial rape in every context, but you can freely mock and belittle *Leonard Part 6* in front of the smallest children in the strictest of churches.

Just a thought…

I just love how you managed to put “binding women into a sworn sisterhood of submission to my benevolent, periodically unsettling whims” and “soft touch” in the same context

I yam what I yam. At some point, I had to accept that as much as I would like to be some ominous, unrelenting force of masculinity, I’m too self-critical to sustain that pose. It’s in my nature to question everything, including the justice of my actions or demands, and it’s through that annoying little crack/gaping hole in my implacability that mercy and indulgence seep in.

I don’t want to be feared if I can’t be loved.

How Men Lost the 21st Century

I have a number of things to say about the post-Weinstein era. This is the first piece.

People who are surprised by all of the #metoo’ing have been ignoring an increasingly obvious fact: somewhere along the way —by my guess, the late ‘90s or early 2000s— men began to cross a line. A line that had somehow survived 10,000 years of male cultural domination, if only by becoming an invisible part of the apparatus of control. Without a thought, we boldly went where no men had gone before.

We wrecked women’s sexual shame.

I mark the start of it with *Girls Gone Wild*, although an argument can be made that *The Real World* and other proto-reality-tv stuff might have set it off. We started conditioning girls to see how intimate, uncontrolled exposure in front of large audiences can be as exciting as it is terrifying.

From there, the process worked its way through the Paris Hilton and Kim K. tapes, and into a newly, dramatically more extreme porn business that was suddenly open to more women than ever, as both creators and consumers. Acts that were once seen as fundamentally degrading became… not so much *less* degrading, as much as *differently* so. Women figured out en masse that the pursuit of debasement and pain can be a bit like art, and a lot like an extreme sport, only one where you can’t trust your teammates for fuck-all. And it could be profitable, too.

Finally, the process brought itself home with revenge porn. That’s when men showed every woman alive that it didn’t matter if she sent us the photos we demanded, if she fucked us the nasty way we liked, if she remembered not to provoke us when we were drunk, if she adamantly insisted to the ER nurse that the bruises were from a slip in the shower, nor if she forgave all the drug money we “borrowed”… it was all for nothing. Even when she ultimately compromised everything she had just to get us to leave her the hell alone, we would still share pictures of her semen-soaked face and cunt for our sleazy little buddies to post and mock online. We had one of history’s great lopsided bargains tilted in mankind’s favor —we won’t tell everyone what you’re willing to do as long as you’re willing to do it— and *we couldn’t be bothered to stick to the fucking deal*.

I’d say the last stage really kicked in around The Fappening. It makes sense that the dominos would start to fall first in Hollywood; once we stripped women like Jennifer Lawrence of their privacy and dignity in front of hundreds of millions of people, after making it abundantly clear that no matter what their standing in life they would always be targets, and after turning public humiliation into something that looked survivable, well… why would they ever again put up with a man’s shit? What would be the point? We took away everything they had to lose.

This generation of men has truly been special. We accidentally made the world a better place by being the biggest assholes we could possibly be.

Someone asked if I have any thoughts on the Weinstein fallout, and the answer is: oh fuck *yes* I have thoughts. So, so many. I’m just not sure what I want to do with them.

I’ve got a half-written post where I speculate about a subterranean cultural connection between the rise of *Girls Gone Wild* and the #metoo explosion, there’s a long list of things I want to say to men in general about not being complete fucksticks all the goddamned time, I have a little side-rant about the manspreading cock-goblin that sat next to Lady Macbedtime on the bus yesterday and proceeded to play with himself all the way to their destination, I can go on at length about the Roy Moores of this world and what it’s like to grow up among them, and I can finally explain why I never connected with the work of Louis C.K.

So… yeah. In case it isn’t obvious, none of this would be part of our regularly scheduled Dark Sexy Fun. And in order to feel right about broadcasting my complicated, conflicted opinions at all, I’d need to ante up my relevant experiential bonafides, the thought of which makes me mildly uncomfortable. I’ve found that real vulnerability —like cheerfulness and plaid— is not a good look on me.

But given my subject matter of choice, I more or less feel a responsibility to say *something*. And I shall.

why do i always end up with the shitty guys? i had been talking to this guy for a couple weeks and right after we hook up he stops talking to me? like i gave him what he wanted and now i’m not good enough anymore? i️ was so into him too

Well, first, bear in mind that most guys are shitty, at least part of the time. So unless your targeting systems improve dramatically, you’re going to be pussy-deep in shit for the foreseeable future. (Watch out for all those UTIs!)

And you’re viewing the “good enough” thing from the wrong angle. He’s a crappy man, remember? You were *never* good enough; you were a convenience, something disposable he could use to soak up his mess. And a part of you *had* to know that. After all, you’re here, asking *me* about it; at the very least, you must suspect that you have a craving for whatever these walking skidmarks are offering. You’ve got to have some inkling that something inside you needs an intense, hopeless connection with someone who can be counted upon to immediately disappoint and reject you.

Hm. I wonder if it makes you cum harder when he fucks you, knowing he’ll wash his hands of you when he’s done? Is it as simple as that? Is that why you keep coming back for more? Because you can’t help yourself, because nothing feels better than your cunt spasming while your heart is breaking?

Or maybe not. Either way, you’re fun. I like you.

Please start a cult.

The thought is appealing, but I’m not sure I have it in me.

I mean, the whole “binding women into a sworn sisterhood of submission to my benevolent, periodically unsettling whims” thing sounds like something I could manage, and I do enjoy mentoring the wholeness-deprived as they navigate the hedge mazes they call inner lives. But there’s so much more to the demigod gig, and a lot of it is outside my wheelhouse.

For example, I feel like a proper cult prioritizes things like isolating people from their families, and I’m just not cut out for that. I can’t imagine telling some naked, kneeling, 20 year-old degenerate disappointment that she can’t visit her mom on her birthday; sure, I’d feed her my load on her way out the door –so she kisses her mom “hello” with a little of me on her breath– but other than that, I wouldn’t want to contribute to the downfall of the modern family unit.

I’m too much of a soft touch.

autistic brat that just left a 6 year relationship with my 17 years older e. european daddy. devastated. he was addicted to meth and lost control over his life. he had me living with his wife and kid. dropped me out of school and moved me in so i could cover his income as his drug use got him fired, but wouldn’t be honest about it. lied to me–a nothing, a slave–to save face. he went from being such a proud, dominant man to a sniveling, basic narcissist. i miss him. was i wrong to leave him?

Wrong? You silly, silly thing.

I know almost nothing about autism and eastern Europeans, but I know plenty about meth and how people treat others when they’re on it. It doesn’t matter what kind of fucked-up, confused, aimless dummy you might be; it doesn’t matter if you’re a morally malformed gutter-cunt who’ll fuck anything with two testicles and a bad attitude; it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or what’s been done to you.

You always deserve more than life with a meth-head.

I fucking promise.

what hair color do you like most on women?

Hm. Y’know, I’m not sure.

I think I lean blond at this point in my life, but when I was younger, I was primarily hot for girls with brown or black hair. Redheads have been more of an acquired taste, but I’m now enough of a fan to have been mildly traumatized when Karen Gillian denuded her scalp for *GOTG*.

Hair color just isn’t a big (conscious) factor for me. When I’m scanning someone for physical attraction, I generally go face > voice > hairstyle > ass > vag > boobs, but I’m not paying a ton of attention to the colors of anything along the way.